Happy Birthday, Dave

Good idea to start celebrating early! Just a little birthday humor -

You know you're getting old when...

...all of your favorite movies are re-released in
color.

...you begin every other sentence with,
"Nowadays..."

...you come to the conclusion that your worst
enemy is gravity.

...you frequently find yourself telling people how
much a loaf of bread used to cost.

...have way too much room in the house, and not
nearly enough in the medicine cabinet.

...people call you at 9pm, they ask, "Did I wake
you?"

...the pharmacist becomes your new best friend.

...you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor
instead of the police.

...you wake up with that morning-after feeling,
and you didn't do anything the night before.

...you quit trying to hold your stomach in, no
matter who walks into the room.

...you sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak ...and
they stay there.

...your best friend is dating someone half their
age, and isn't breaking any laws.

...your little black book only contains names
ending in M.D.

...your new easy chair has more options than your
car.

...you and your teeth don't sleep together.

...you look for your glasses for a half an hour, and
then find that they were on your head all the
time.

...getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking lot.

...the twinkle in your eye turns out to be the
reflection of the sun on your bifocals.