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I'm not nuts!
by
In 1990, I had a tubal ligation performed on me. Within the next year I changed so much that I didn't recognize myself anymore. I gained 70 pounds, I walked off a job at 3 in the afternoon, I ranted and raved uncontrollably at my loved ones, I quit desiring sex all together, I cried over anything, my periods became totally irregular, I couldn't think rationally anymore, I couldn't remember things. I was in the process of buying a home with my boyfriend and I didn't want that anymore. This all occurred in my 35th year of life. I was just starting a new life after a divorce. My new life was one of craziness and confusion instead of happiness and contentment. Within three years of the tubal, I was back on Prozac for the third time and I was suffering hot flashes as well as all the other symptoms described before. I went to various doctors including the head of a local hospital and they all said the same thing......"no way this has anything to do with the tubal and no way can you be in menopause". Finally in 1997, a doctor put me on HRT without performing any tests first. I continued my miserable existence with thoughts of suicide ruling me and more confusion about myself than ever before. I have only become more confused and desperate for a way out of this whole thing because I never understood what was happening to me. My friends and loved ones just assumed I was having a breakdown and they would try to stay away from me. I told everyone that would listen that for some reason I was no longer the person they knew and that, as hard as that was for me to admit, I could never be myself again. I am still on Prozac (on the highest allowed dosage), HRT, and as of last night, still contemplating suicide just to end the total pain of this. A lady at work is having a tubal and she received internet information about tubals from her cousin. She told me about it and I looked it up. I have never seen my symptoms so perfectly and totally listed out before. Almost the entire list applied to me including the IBS. I was shocked, relieved and bitter about 12 lost years of my life. My boyfriend and I married and divorced and my daughter thinks I'm just crazy. I was so tired of hearing "snap out of it" and "stop being so selfish". I just wanted it all to end. Anyhow, I have printed off the info about PTS and I made an appointment with my doctor. I still just want to give up, but I will wait until I see her next week. Will knowing fix anything? I'm not sure.
Please note: Diagnosis of health/medical conditions are not made by, www.tubal.org, the Coalition for Post Tubal Women (CPTwomen) or by any of its associates. The "Campaign to Inform", is an informational and educational program only. No treatment or prescribing is provided. This forum is offered only as a support network and as an educational tool to learn from each others experiences. You are advised to obtain the services of a physician or health care professional if the need for medical treatment is indicated.
