Knowing how we feel about being committed to another person is a difficult one in my experience. Certainly don't judge by the delusory "falling in love" bit. Then I would also put aside the lesser self delusions I know I carried about "we are fine" and "of course I love this person as, after all, we are a family and she is my wife and mother of my children" and "Oh, if things feel a bit difficult then this must be a passing phase.." even if it goes on for years!! So.. I have found that I can only reasonably get to how I feel more in the present and then by trying to feel it in my body at the same time as I think it - that way I get a sense of it. The feelings then come out about things like "warm" or "tense" or "relaxed breathing deeply" etc..
I honestly struggle with getting to how I really feel and getting away from how I want to or should feel. In my view we are all self deluded about our feelings and "love" quite a lot of the time. I know this may seem very hard and perhaps like I am a cruel unfeeling person but when it gets down to it and I am really honest I do struggle. One of my most favourite feelings is simply being safe, secure, warm, cared for and loved. This feels a bit to me like a small child being held. I have a suspicion that this kind of feeling may be what a lot of people want underneath all the other mind-created ideas we fabricate for ourselves about what it is to be happy or what love is.
may you be safe and well, contented and happy
