I was wondering on average, how long it took for a BS to get feelings back for WS( when they've lost the feelings)... to feel the desire to return to physical intimacy...In my case my S continues to play the victim role (which is hardly attractive) and he has been unremorseful when it comes to accepting responsibility that what he did was wrong...Before I became aware of the A, the problem in the M from my standpoint was my resentment of feeling taken advantage of, without my needs being considered equally as important as his....Although we have discussed this topic between ourselves and in counseling, my H denies that he does or did anything to make me feel this way, even though I have told him precisely what made me feel this way( in other words he seems to feel like I am the only one with a problem, not him)
Lisa

You pretty much hit the nail on the head - he is the one with the problem, not you. Now he has to figure out how to solve it. This isn't your mess to have to clean up.

I personally wouldn't be having intimate relations with this man until
A) you know that he has established N/C and isn't sleeping with anybody else and B) when you feel YOU are ready to

Speaking from a strictly emotional standpoint you may wish to discuss openly how you feel and why you are not willing to have sex with him. Tell him how the A has made you feel and be willing to listen when he shares his feelings......that's about all anybody could expect from you at this point. Your still there, and he should be relieved and grateful that you have given him this chance!!!

Hugs
Kid