http://www.videojug.com/interview/infidelity-and-healing

Thank you for sharing...good advice indeed

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

This site is awesome.

I like her take on forgiveness and trusting again

How timely for me.  I sent the link to H as I have recently told him that I do not want to hear from him at all until he ends it with OW. 

Hope,
Thanks so much for posting this link. It is really helpful and I think it will be helpful for my H, too (I am going to ask him to listen but it is getting increasingly difficult to talk about the subject - that sad, pained look appears along with frustration and fear that A will be central theme in our lives forever - still, he is trying to be patient and mostly, being empathy personified)

Only issue with the site was section about whether cheating spouse should tell the wife/husband, particularly if A happened a long time ago and is over. She suggests that it is better to not confess and that makes me crazy. Nobody has the right to deprive me of information that affects my life and my ability to make decisions based on fact. What give WS the right to deceive and break the marriage vows without telling the BS? I despise the attitude that it is better to hide the truth/protect BS from pain and I often see that idea expressed. Clearly, those expressing it have not been BS.

But, otherwise, great and compassionate site. As they say in AA, take what you need and leave the rest. Thanks.

part Susan. I only listened to the link I posted. And I agree you with 100% that is ridiculous!!!

I watched the clip for this link. Then I watched a few other clips. While I agree with much of what she said, I disagree with a couple of her points.

She talked about WS having A because something is missing and said they go outside of the marriage looking to fill that hole. OK, I can even go along with that point; however, she did not state that WS COULD have gone to the spouse and discussed the marriage instead of cheating. She also did not mention that sometimes there is nothing missing in the marriage--what is missing is in the WS!

In addition, I could not wholly agree with her opinion on forgiveness. While she pointed out that trust has to be reearned, I don't think she made clear that forgiveness also has to be earned. She said the usual "forgiveness is more for the betrayed," which MAY be true, but nonetheless which needs to be earned by a remorseful spouse.

Just my fairy cents' worth,

ff