Finally....me and my MIL had a chance to sit down and talk a little bit. She asked me what was going on. I explained to her the two major events that led to our separation. The cops calling and finding WH's stash. I was surprised but she said she understood why I asked Wh to leave...she said she felt like I did once, and how she cried to her own MIL during similar circumstances. She actually said she felt I did the right thing and that my WH needs to hit rock bottom. She said she was sorry. WOW....i cant even imagine her heartbreak that her own son is following in his fathers footsteps. She asked me what was going to happen and I told he I didnt know....that alot depended on her son. She said he was a fool...that I was beautiful and that he should take pride in what he has instead of feeling sorry for himself and turning to drugs. Believe it or not...this was comforting and validating. I just hope she meant it! It felt like she did. And these days I am not easily fooled

I felt she really cared....and genuinely understood my plight! Rare indeed..very!

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Cal,

I am so happy for you...this is honest communication and I think she will be there for you..just keep her plugged in your kid's life and you will have no issues with her.

((((hugs)))
Pat

"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

Wow you have a very special MIL. I really believed she would be support her son so much that it would cause a huge seperation between the two of you. I worried how you would take that since this is basically the only family you have.

I'm so glad I was completely wrong

You are beautiful my dear, both inside and out! Your MIL is right on the money....and your WH is nuts for walking away. Sometimes though, even love isn't enough. That's the lesson I learned long ago. Maybe I will never know love again, but at least I know I can respect myself.

Hugs
Kid

Some people do step to the plate. Try to keep your MIL in the loop and in your and your children's lives.

Rett

Cal,

I am relieved that it went so well.

Ami

Cal,

Your MIL is a very special and sensitive woman; lucky you! I'm so glad your conversation went well with her.

I loved my MIL to pieces. She passed away at 93...and that's when my H started his A. I believe losing her had a lot to do with his complete loss of values.

Thank you everyone. I am relieved that it went well too.

My MIL said she did not know that her son was back to doing the pot so much and that he had that much laying around. She said she knew that our separation must of had something to do with the drugs. She asked me if he was still seeing OW. I said I don't know....that he has lied to me so much. She said she didn't think he was or he wouldnt have the old drunk guy hanging around. Maybe that is true...I don't know...I told her all I know is that I cannot trust him. I reminded her of how he has lied to her in the past as well as everyone in the family, that just because he says he isnt doing something doesn't mean it's true. I told her about several conversations me and WH had about how he feels I should accept the drugs...I explained to her why I cannot. The last time we had spoked about the drugs she didnt think it was a deal breaker...but now I thinks she understands why it is. A few times she could see the pain in my heart as we talked about how much it hurts that he chose the pot over his family. She gave me a hug and said it was his choice...there was nothing I could have done...that it wasnt my fault...and that I did nothing wrong. I told her even if I did nothing wrong, it still hurts.

Today, as we were leaving her house after dinner, she said to her son "look at your beautiful family...look at all you have to lose". Of course he did not reply, but he did tell his mom he loved her as we were walking to the car. I havent heard him say that to her in a really long time.

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha