Where is our wand-waving buddy? I'm hoping your holidays were good and that the new year looks bright for you. I miss the sparkle you bring to the board and just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
As you may have seen, I couldn't stand it and posted a response to Beth.
I love, love, LOVE, my/our C, but she has a MAJOR hangup about the internet and sees pornography, liars, whackos, and danger at the mere thought of the net. Do those things exist on the internet? ABSOLUTELY! But my H and I have had many conversations about how useful a tool the internet is and why she is a bit over the edge on the topic. Nevertheless, I have honored her request not to be on this site. OK, I have lurked, just not posted, but I truly believe that I, my H, and our marriage are so much better off now that I can read other people's stories and not trigger from them.
We have been getting amazing help from our IC and continue to make huge progress. This is a woman who pulls not punches and does not accept excuses. After a few sessions this fall, my H became alternately overly optomistic and said we didn't need more C--to which our therapist responded that he was sugarcoating and we were in a honeymoon stage--to saying that we were NEVER going to get out of C--to which I responded that I see C as one of the best gifts we can ever give ourselves and that no one EVER said C is easy. He has not only accepted her and my views but actually embraced them. We have had some incredibly fruitful discussions after our C sessions.
I am the happiest I have ever been in my marriage, and I thought I was incredibly happy the first 5 1/2 years (before the responsibility of being a parent started). I have learned so much about myself and how to cope with life. I told my H that his going to C and working on understanding himself and implementing changes proves to me that he loves me and that he wants our marriage to work. Just telling me he did wasn't enough, but doing the extremely challenging, often painful, work of going to C and instituting changes in himself is the proof I needed and need. He is the happiest he has ever been in his life and has used the tools he is gaining not only to improve himself and our home life, but also to make his work environment less stressful.
I very much appreciate your asking about me and Pat's email. I am doing so much better.
A whole year's worth of delighted, encouraging fairy hugs,
Hurray!!! I am so glad that you are ok and from the sounds of it, thriving. Huge hugs to you!!!!!
I've missed your voice, your take on things, your words of wisdom and the fairy dust spilling over onto all.
I think we all have had moments when this site which is so very healing, also has the potential to pull us in ways that we need to step back. So, I'll respect whatever you and your Wizard Therapist decide about lurking posting, et al. In the meantime, I'm super happy to see you here, if even briefly and will look forward hopefully to occasional visits from our winged wonder. Fondly, BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
I am so happy that you and your H are doing well and making such progress...and are HAPPY It does my heart good to hear such news. But I miss you very much and your fairy hugs. But if it is better for you to not be here then that is the way it has to be...I certainly understand. However, I hope it is ok that you check in every now and then and say hello to your old friends.
Take care, dear friend...
~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha
The other day I was reading about Beth and the car and I freaked. I thought one of my H's girlfriends butt was probably on MY seat in the car. It just made me incredibly angry and took me back to a bad spot. It was short lived, but some messages can take me there. Taking a break helps sometimes.
Other times I need to process whether by starting a thread and asking for help, just chatting about related or non-related issues, lurking, or responding to a post it all seems to help.
If it feels like I'm going to negative too fast sometimes I take a break too. Or, I just get busy.
