(((((((((My HH family)))))))) I've been away for a while. Back in April, I hit a "recovery wall". My H had/has been working diligently at healing and the two of us have gone through so much to heal our M. But El's words played over and over in my head: "there are three kinds of healing...WS's, the M's and the BS's." Somewhere along this horrific journey, I saw that a crucial part in recovery for me needed to be a kind of cocooning and re-emergence. I needed to step way, far back...away from all supports...to see if I could stand on my own emotionally. I even ended MC and my IC.
Am I "recovered"? No. Healed? Getting there. There is a progression of baby steps forward with occasional steps back. I feel a bit like a baby lamb or foal on very shaky legs.
The good days mostly outweigh the bad. H and I are facing the future together with a clearer understanding of who each of us truly are. We are learning that true love and intimacy are not found in sharing warm, fuzzy Disney moments. Instead, truly loving and being close with someone has everything to do with the ability to face the hard stuff together, whether that's a crisis in the family, at work, in the world or between the two of us.
I have missed you all and have missed this site. I know some of you are hurting terribly and my heart breaks all over again in your pain. Some of you are surviving and succeeding, and that makes my heart soar. All of you are in my heart. With much love, BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
Obviously you know you have been missed by the HH "family." When you are healing, you need to do what you need to do, and sometimes it is trying to find your legs by yourself.
I am three months shy of four years since DDay #2. I am doing infinitely better than I was even a couple of years ago, but I am still working on my understanding and healing. Thank goodness your H is along for the ride because the WS wanting to change and heal makes all the difference.
I am glad you are doing better. Keep hanging in there because life DOES get better, as you are finding out.
I am so happy to see you posting again .").. Healing takes many steps.. forward and backwards the most important thing to know is that your S is there with you supporting you..you will get thru the storm of the emotions.. you will find triggers but they lessen with time..
Time is on your side.. baby steps .. think baby learning to walk..
((((hugs))))
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
I am so glad things are getting better Blue...and it's good to hear it.
I am 5 yrs past d-day 1~~~2-1/2 yrs past d-day 5 and it's always good to hear that healing happens.
I definitely know that I am better than I was 3 years ago...2 years ago....it's a good measuring stick!!
Keep going!!!
My dear friend,
Glad to see you are back - I take that as a sign that you are feeling stronger. I am so, so glad that you took the time you needed to do what you felt was right for you. That, in itself, is a big step forward. For me, part of the pain is that I always subjugated my needs to those of others, particularly H - just adding to the anger of the A - "How could you do that when I gave you so much? My sacrifices were supposed to keep that kind of thing from happening."
Hope to keep hearing from you - here and elsewhere.
Thanks to everyone for the welcome back. I've noticed there are a number of people who've checked back in after some absences. Maybe something about the summer: warm breezes and sunny skies, healing in the air, the passing of that critical element of TIME. This site remains a haven for so many of us...a safe place of understanding and support that I am so very grateful for. Huge hugs to all! Special thanks and winks to the people who took the time to say "Hi" and Ms. Susan, you've got mail! Love to all of you. BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
