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Catalog of Mike Brown Excuses

October 12 2008 at 5:43 PM
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psychostats  (Login psychostats)
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I'll be off on a business trip for the next few days and probably won't be able to post here. I know that doesn't exactly break any of your hearts, but it bums me out. Oh, what will I do without my daily MBS fix?

So please excuse this long post. I thought it would be worthwhile to review the excuses made by Mike Brown over the past 18 years. (And the excuses made on his behalf.) For each little mini-era, there were dominant themes, excuse-wise.


1992-94: Combined record of 11-27 (0.229)
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"We're rebuilding. These things take time."


1995-99: Combined record of 29-51 (0.363)
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"We need a new stadium to compete." And heard increasingly toward the end of this span, "We need a bell-cow quarterback if we're ever going to win."


2000-02: Combined record of 12-32 (0.250)
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"We haven't enjoyed the increased revenue from the new stadium for very long. Give it a few years." And we still heard, "We need a bell-cow quarterback."


2003-04: Combined record of 16-16 (0.500)
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"Marvin Lewis is putting it together, but we'll have to give him a few years."


2005: Record of 11-5 (0.688)
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No excuses were necessary. But I recall reading an interview where MB said, "We should be set for years to come." And why not? None of the old excuses applied any longer.


2006-07: Combined record of 15-17 (0.469)
---------------------------------------------
"Injuries, injuries, injuries." And of course there was, "Mike Brown didn't miss that field goal or make that bad long snap."


2008: Record starts out at 0-6. (0.000)
--------------------------------------------
Is there anything he could possibly say now? His bell-cow QB is injured because his offensive line is terrible. He has enjoyed the stadium revenue for eight years. This is Marvin Lewis's sixth year, so the coaching staff has had plenty of time. And can a bad string of injuries every year be attributed to purely bad luck?

But I guess there will always be excuses. Like,"it's the players' and coaches' fault." Sure it is. Mike Brown can just do no wrong. Shame on us all for ever doubting the man.


 
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Storm
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Re: Catalog of Mike Brown Excuses

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October 12 2008, 5:54 PM 

Nice post

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mram49
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amen bro

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October 12 2008, 6:31 PM 

I left the region in 03 but for some insane reason I still want this team to win...just like I want Santa Clause to visit me on Halloween. But what ever happened to the talk I heard before leaving especially on WLW about possible legal action against BrownHole for not holding up his end of the bargain of "putting a competitive product on the field" within a reasonable time frame? Did the locals in Cincinnati just give up and decide Daddy Warbucks wins or what? I live in Texas now so I hear nothing about it here, but do hear plenty of trash about Jonesy here in Irving and how he got the city of Arlington to spring for a zillion dollars for a new stadium after he threatened to move the franchise..HA! Dallas Cowboys...Not even in the city of Dallas or even Dallas County for that matter.
I say let them move their sh***ty teams if that's how they feel because I see no city willing, especially now to foot the bill for a bunch of losers.. But that in itself is a mute point because they all got their new stadiums anyway and who pays in every city? It ain't the Jones or the Browns... It's Joe Taxpayer in almost every case and we see no revenue from any of it.
I no longer pay taxes in that area and sure as hell don't pay taxes to Jonesy here in Irving, but if I were I might be hopping mad and might just protest and picket every game and dare the local police to throw me in jail over it. Here in Irving that request would be honored in a hot minute and probably in Cincy too.

 
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psychostats
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Re: Catalog of Mike Brown Excuses

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October 18 2008, 4:25 PM 

Thanks, you guys. I meant to get back to this thread...

I don't live in the area and pay the stadium tax, either. As is often mentioned, Mike Brown is incredibly lucky to be sitting on top of a major sports franchise. People are so crazy about the NFL that they will even put up with that guy. And do things like approve obnoxious stadium financing deals. My personal feeling about protesting is that we should keep it light and have some fun. But I understand where you're coming from, mram.

Getting back to the excuses, I know a lot of people must save their favorite stupid Mike Brown quotations. (The excuses at the top of the thread are Mikey-esque, but not actual quotes.) Has anyone ever rounded them up into a single thread? It might be fun to create a little repository that we could refer back to when needed. I'm going to post a few here, once I find them on my computer.




    
This message has been edited by psychostats from IP address 70.92.85.26 on Oct 18, 2008 7:09 PM


 
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The Hook
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Re: Catalog of Mike Brown Excuses

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October 18 2008, 6:23 PM 

I can't remember exactly how long ago it was (maybe about 10 years) but my favorite Mike Brown comment/excuse went something like this:

"It's unreasonable for people to think that I just became stupid."

The Hole was actually defending himself after about his first decade of humiliation. His point was that the Bungs had some success in the 1980's, so people shouldn't blame him for the 1990's.

What the dingbat wanted, and wants, to believe is that he had something to do with the teams that his father ran. He didn't.

He was on the payroll, just like his his brother Pete, daughter Katie and son-on-law Troy, for no reason other than his family tree.

No, Mike, you didn't just become stupid. You were born that way.

And judging from Katie's disgraceful public showing in Dallas a couple weeks ago, that acorn didn't fall far from your tree either.

 
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psychostats
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Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 19 2008, 1:44 PM 

Here are a few from articles I had bookmarked. What I would also like to find is one of the many examples where he favorably compares the Bengals operations with those of the Steelers. Anybody out there have one?

Okay, Mikey-Boy, take it away...

Fromhttp://bengals.enquirer.com/2000/12/02/ben_sullivan_mike_brown.html :

I probably could retire and they wouldn't have to hold a benefit in my behalf. But I want to have an active life. There are a lot of things about this (game) that are enjoyable, even amid the most difficult of times. ... I would like to put it right, and I think we can.

I am not immune to criticism. No matter what we do, I'm ultimately responsible for it. But I think I understand what criticism really is. It's the opinion of others, and that opinion shifts. It reflects the emotion of the moment. I'm not going to make decisions in my life based on opinions other than my own.


Fromhttp://web.archive.org/web/20010729064608/www.cincypost.com/bengals/99preview/mike091199.html :

"If you don't have a productive quarterback, you won't go anywhere. That's the way it works in this league. I know it doesn't seem that simple, but it is."


Fromhttp://www.enquirer.com/editions/1998/12/26/spt_mb2020.html :

"There's not much I can say to convince people (we're going to turn it around). They've heard it from me -- and they've had it. Until we are successful on the field, I don't expect to hear many good things."

"When I was young and in college, we had advisers who gave us tests that showed where our interests were -- lawyer, accountant, writer, whatever. The adviser said, 'Your results are a straight line. They don't show an interest anywhere.' Football wasn't on the test. That's what interested me."


Fromhttp://bengals.enquirer.com/1997/12/122197_brown.html :

"I'm unhappy we haven't won. The fans are unhappy we haven't won. We understand that. But I don't agree with the media suggestions for correcting it. ... We feel we've got people here who have the knowledge."

"I'm used to it. I've been criticized for 30 years."

"To say what the coaches put into the decision is minor, or they don't get their way most of the time is wrong. People would be surprised at how little I'm involved. I only interject when I feel it's necessary."

"If you have the bell cow quarterback, it works. You have to have the key guy. If you don't have the key guy, it doesn't matter. ... The system, changed (to free agency), but one thing that didn't change was you still had to line up with a key player or two. Look at San Francisco (Steve Young), Dallas (Aikman), Miami (Marino), Denver (John Elway). They were good before and after the system. I'm not disparaging other players because you need as many good ones as you can get. But the quarterback is the key guy. Look at Buffalo this year."

"When people talk about scouting, it's a red herring for people who don't know what they're talking about. We have all the information everybody else has. There are no secrets. When the Broncos got (running back) Terrell Davis in the sixth round, it wasn't like he wasn't on our board. We talked about him. If they were so sure fire smart, why didn't they take him in the first round? We have the same record as the Rams and they have (eight) scouts."


Fromhttp://www.bengals.com/news/article-1/Brown-40-years-in-this-league/DFA7D14D-5D9C-49D1-BB38-371D7742F908 :

"I have a good relationship with Marvin. He has a good relationship with Katie, Paul and Troy. I think it works well."

"I had a significant part in the operation earlier than people were aware of. I would never have done something I thought was contrary to [my father's] wishes. I don't remember thinking much differently. He brought me up to think like him, and I pretty well did."

"I was talking to a guy who was retired and I asked him how he could stand being retired. What do you do? And he said,'I don't do anything.' How do you stand that, I could never do that, and he said, 'If I had your job, I wouldn't retire, either.' That's about right. I don't think of it as work. I would pay to do it."


Please add others if you have them.


EDIT: Changed obsolete link to Bengals.com to current.


    
This message has been edited by psychostats from IP address 107.10.83.42 on Dec 5, 2010 5:30 PM


 
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T
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Re: Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 19 2008, 6:16 PM 

...and this one time at band camp

 
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theydey
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Re: Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 19 2008, 6:26 PM 

Rest assured Mikey will be all over the fact that Palmer became injured. You can add that to this years excuse.

 
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BMN
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Re: Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 20 2008, 6:11 AM 

I know, theydey, and the s#!++y thing is that some announcers buy that $#!+ hook, line and sinker. I caught the final snaps of the game yesterday and heard the CBS announcer, whoever it was, rambling incessantly about how much of a different team it is without Palmer, etc etc. Not that that isn't true to a degree, but I was talking back at the TV: "yeah, different team....instead of losing 38-10, the Bengals would have lost 38-20. Big difference."

But you know Mike will cling to that excuse the way Linus clings to his security blanket.

BMN

 
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T
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Re: Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 20 2008, 7:35 AM 

your absolutely right BMN. I heard that same junk as well. The Dallas TV stations have had about 3 bungs games on down here so far this year. For some reason people still have respect for the bungs offense. Not sure why. They are so misinformed.

 
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bronco
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Re: Some Stupid Mike Brown Quotations

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October 20 2008, 9:03 AM 

""When people talk about scouting, it's a red herring for people who don't know what they're talking about. We have all the information everybody else has. There are no secrets. When the Broncos got (running back) Terrell Davis in the sixth round, it wasn't like he wasn't on our board. We talked about him. If they were so sure fire smart, why didn't they take him in the first round? We have the same record as the Rams and they have (eight) scouts."

that about sums it up right there...

If you read between the lines, this is what he is saying. In the draft all NFL teams have access to the same players. It doesnt matter how we rate them or who we select, its all coming from the same pool. Our scouting department has the same info as the Rams. Therefore, if the Rams select 8 players that start for their team in 4 years and we have zero players that play for us in 4 years, the drafts were the same because we all have the same info and can draft the same players.

Of course, this is a ridiculous assertion. The hilarious thing is that people (like Murf) buy into this crap and fail to blame upper management for the draft choices and free agents we get.

Murf will always use the Redskins as a barometer of how not to do free agency. The problem with his line of thinking is that there are 20 other teams that handle free agency well and it improves them.

We draft like sh!t, we play like sh!t, we are coached like sh!t and our owner/upper management are so far in over their heads, they don't know a football from their a$$holes.

Murf is right in that the players deserve some blame. Then again, do you really blame the kitten if you choose to throw a kitten into a cage with an alligator? LOL


    
This message has been edited by broncobux from IP address 24.234.44.64 on Dec 15, 2008 11:20 AM


 
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OldSchool
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This is ridiculous

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October 20 2008, 11:33 AM 

"If they were so sure fire smart, why didn't they take him in the first round?"


Because they could get him in the 6th, dumbazz!!!!!!!! Jesus Christ--what a f*cking retard. Why overpay somebody? Only in MFBworld does this statement make sense.




"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

 
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psychostats
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1978 Season

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October 20 2008, 11:26 PM 

theydey:
"Rest assured Mikey will be all over the fact that Palmer became injured. You can add that to this years excuse."

BMN:
"But you know Mike will cling to that excuse the way Linus clings to his security blanket."

Agreed. I'm sure he'll say something to that effect at the end of the season. The media interview he'll give will have great stuff in it, I'm sure.

On that note, I'd like to go back to the Bengals.com interview with MB for a second. Regarding the 1978 team that started out 0-8 and finished 4-12, remember that QB Kenny Anderson broke a finger in his hand during the preseason. Asked if Tiger Johnson might have otherwise taken the Bengals to the Super Bowl, MB said:

"I think he would have. It was just tied to that one event."

Yeah, sure it was. If they had truly been a top tier team, they wouldn't have fallen apart like that. Anderson was back by Game 5, admittedly not at full strength, but come on, 4-12? I'm telling you guys, all this crud started that year.

 
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BA
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Re: 1978 Season

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October 21 2008, 6:27 PM 

"We have a team that, if we're playing right, can compete in this league but we haven't been playing right," Bengals president Mike Brown said "I wish I could put my finger on the reason why. I don't know if there is just one reason, there's probably more than one." -mikehole brown

"The fans will always search for some individual to blame when a team isn't winning." -mikehole brown

VIVA 0-16!

 
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Yeah, I wonder

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October 22 2008, 12:54 AM 

""We have a team that, if we're playing right, can compete in this league but we haven't been playing right," Bengals president Mike Brown said "I wish I could put my finger on the reason why. I don't know if there is just one reason, there's probably more than one." -mikehole brown

"The fans will always search for some individual to blame when a team isn't winning." -mikehole brown"


Yeah, Mikehole. I just wonder who that individual is. I'm going back to that Cheech & Chong bit:

Gameshow Host: "The question is--what is YOUR NAME?!?!?!?!?!? 30 seconds, Mikehole....."

Mikehole (stoned off his azz gripping Washingtons): "Waita minute--I know that one, maaaaaannnnnn!!!!!"

Gameshow Host: "20 seconds, Mike F. Brown...."

Mikehole: "Naaahhhhh man--gimme a minute!!!! GIMME A MINUTE!!!!"

Gameshow Host: "10 seconds, Mikehole Brownstain....."

Mikehole: "Bob Whatshisface, maaaaaannnnnnnn"

Gameshow Host: "5 seconds, Dickhole....."

Mikehole: "Oh yeahhhhhhh man--Michael F. Brown"



You got it, SCHMUCK!!!!!!!!! har har.





"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

 
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psychostats
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More Excuses

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December 14 2008, 8:42 PM 

Just thought I would update the thread with the latest stupid quotations. This is in regard to MB's recent interview with the Cincinnati Enquirer and Bengals.com (December 1).

http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/AB/20081201/SPT02/312010050/

"It is hard to have success in this league without your key players. Were playing with literally less than half of the people we thought would be our starters. We lost Carson Palmer, who is our linchpin player. We lost our best defensive player before the season started, (linebacker) Odell Thurman."

"I think things would take a quantum leap forward if we had Carson Palmer back on the field and playing the way he can play."

"I call them themes. They (fans and customers) like to talk about different themes when things dont go well. Part of being in this job, the good side of the coin is it shows the emotional connection the fans have with this football team." [On the calls to hire a GM.]


http://www.bengals.com/news/article-1/Conversation-with-Mike-Brown-/fc1c91a6-1261-41d0-98e5-eb14aa5d4182

"I would tell you we lost our best defensive player before the season started. We were counting on (Odell) Thurman as a starter and he fell by the wayside. Our linebacker corps we expected to play with were Thurman, (Keith) Rivers and (David) Pollack."

"In many ways [Marvin Lewis] has done an incredibly good job. Our players still try hard and that's hard to come by when you go through all the losing this team has gone through. But he has them out there trying to the best of their abilities. At least in my eye. And on this point my eye counts."

"We all saw what was going on. It wasn't somebody telling me something and it just wasn't me. The coaches saw what I saw and that was a decision made by the coaching staff and I was involved in it." [On Willie Anderson being cut.]

"I wish we had an explanation for it. It is a problem. We are looking for a solution." [On injuries and the long IR list.]

"It's an interesting thing in Cincinnati. The fans and the Bengals have a love-hate relationship. When we're doing well, we ride high. And when we're not doing well, then we get kicked around some. I think what that reflects is an emotional connection they have with us."

"We were not hitting on all cylinders early in the year. I think we could have worked through it and got back up and been OK."

"That's a little bit misunderstood [size of the personnel department]. We have more people there than they seem to be able to count. Paul and Pete (Brown). Bill and Duke Tobin. For some reason they never count Bill. He covers the whole Southeast for us, and that's one of the most important areas we have. And we have Jim Lippincott and Greg Seamon. It really is about the same number that a number of teams have. We get adequate information for college players. "

"Marvin and I've had a good relationship. We've had an ability to stay on the same message. Except for that one case [Chris Henry re-signing] ... in my mind it's behind us now. If you've got further concerns on that kind of thing you'll have to call the New York Giants who have an 11-1 record and their guy, who has taken the role over of NFL bad guy."


And much more. Mike Brown was in top form during this interview.


EDIT. Updated obsolete link from Bengals.com.


    
This message has been edited by psychostats from IP address 107.10.83.42 on Dec 5, 2010 6:05 PM


 
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Storm
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Re: More Excuses

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December 15 2008, 4:22 AM 

"When the Broncos got (running back) Terrell Davis in the sixth round, it wasn't like he wasn't on our board. We talked about him. If they were so sure fire smart, why didn't they take him in the first round? "


This shows just how ignorant he really is

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bronco
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Re: More Excuses

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December 15 2008, 11:30 AM 

After looking at his overall record, three things are certain about Mikey:

1. The players he has drafted have not been good enough to win a superbowl

2. The coaches he has hired are not skilled enough to win a superbowl

3. What else matters?



"The American Cancer Society says uninsured patients are 60 percent more likely to die within five years of their diagnosis."

 
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psychostats
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Getting Ready for the Next Round

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December 5 2010, 7:31 PM 

Bump. We should be hearing again from MB fairly soon. Why not warm up for it by reviewing his old comments?

A couple more memorable comments since we left this thread:


On the prospect of signing Michael Vick:
"When you have a situation like ours, he's a very difficult fit. Quarterbacks are like queen bees. You can only have one of them before they start stepping on each other and we have ours."

http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/throughthearch/entries/2009/07/28/mike_brown_on_michael_vick.html

On the signing of Terrell Owens:
"You know, there's a lot of commentary about people who are in the public eye, and some of it is way overboard. Some of it is from people who don't really know the situation. And yes, people can make mistakes. It doesn't mean that they go on the rest of their lives making mistakes. They can get their ship pointed in the right direction."

http://www.bengals.com/media-lounge/videos/Mike-Brown-Interview-72610/a7187c1b-f54c-4445-9e18-e32ea03ae263

 
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Re: Next Round

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December 6 2010, 4:16 PM 

Yes, we should. But he's gonna take his sweet *** time. My predictions:


On the overall state of the franchise: "In this business, you have ups and downs. What people don't understand is that this league is extremely competitive. Last year was an up year. Unfortunately this year we had some setbacks".

On the Bungs going (hopefully) 2-14: "Again, we did have some setbacks. But I was very pleased with the way we competed and fought through adversity. Most of the games we lost were extremely close".

On not firing Marvin: "You know, in this league it's become trendy to fire coaches at the first sign of trouble. And I understand that some fans are frustrated and want to lash out and lay the blame at his feet. But I respect Marvin as a professional and understand the magnitude of the adversity he's faced this year. I can respect the fans' desire for 'action' but I refuse to make personnel decisions based on emotion and other people's opinions. We have a system in place - a good system - that's worked well for us in the past."

On Brat: "There are a lot of so-called 'arm-chair' quarterbacks out there. What they don't understand is that we employ the best offensive thinkers in the league. We have knowledge about which plays to run and which systems to implement that the average fan doesn't grasp. Unfortunately the players we had in place this year weren't able to execute as well as we would have liked. I didn't hear anyone complaining about Bob last year when we went to the playoffs. It's just another "theme" that we'll have to deal with..which in a way is good. It's a sign that the fans are emotionally connected to the team".

On dwindling attendance: "This year has been a tough year, no doubt. Definitely not what we would have hoped for. I understand the frustrations that many fans are feeling and that surely has been reflected in the lack of sellouts we've had recently. Unfortunately, in these tough economic times people have had to make hard choices. The good news is, we still have a very supportive fan base".

I could do "On Hiring a GM" but that would be too easy...anyway, let's keep this train rolling. Who else wants to play mikey?





"The vignette lasted only a minute out of the initial one-hour show, but reinforced perceptions of how the organization is run. When the owner offers his "wild thought," everyone speaks carefully -- or not at all -- so as not to contradict the boss."

 
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