The new play book contains massive changes. MikeyBoy has single-handedly shifted the entire playbook paradigm. Mikey discovered that X's and O's use way more ink than periods and commas. So, at the conclusion of the 2008 season the Bungholes contacted with AP, "Akili Publishing" to have new playbooks printed.

In addition to the new periods and commas, the old 20# white bond paper has been replaced with recycled Necco Wafer wrappings. The hard bindings have been replaced with discarded material from Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes and the team's 40 year old 3-hole punch has been auctioned off and replaced with a guy named Murray who can punch perfectly round holes with a pencil.

Additionally, the oft-used "swing pass to the left", which Mr. Bratkowski likes to call on 3rd and 25 has been augmented with the new "swing pass to the right." Rumors persist that this new wrinkle might be accompanied by a play fake, adding some p'nash to it. Could other tweaks be far behind? I smell a stooperbowl.

Clap *Clap* Clap


That was creative. I often wondered when Mikey was going to start micro-managing what happens ON THE FIELD too--a la Al Davis-Style.





"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

Playbook - Hail Mary Adjustment
To be used in short yardage situations against pass rushing defense. This situation has often lead to our QB running for his life, ending up more than 30 yards from the line of scrimmage. This change will fool the opposition defense and of course our masterly offence will capatilse on disarray thus generated as our offense goes deep.

Note: If succesful this play will be renamed the Headless Chicken play.


New Playbook - Appendix 1 (Injuries)
It has been noted that many players are injured during tackles, and so in an effort to reduce such injuries, we would recommend letting opposing players run past Bengal Defenders if there is a chance of injury. Remember, an injury can be both physical or mental, and this adjustment will be reviewed at the end of week 16 (other wise known as end of season).

Note: New rule implementation team: Mikey and Health & Safety Advisors




This is fun...get your creative juices flowing!

Due to team history and the traditions set down by the founder, management actually has a soft spot for constructing high-quality playbooks. Lest you forget, Paul Brown, "Footballs most innovative coach", was the first to make use of page numbers and tables of contents. And so Mikey-Boy regularly splurges on imitation gold leaf Sharpie Markers for titling the front covers. And did you realize that Paul Brown invented the bookmark?

Regarding the 2009 updates, poor overworked Bob Bratkowski has pushed doggedly to add creative wrinkles. One late night, in a fit of somnolence-induced creative pique, he grafted the Triple Reverse onto the Wildcat formation. It will go something like this:

Andre Caldwell takes a direct snap and promptly hands off to Cedric Benson on an apparent sweep. Benson then hands off to Chad Ochocinco on an apparent reverse, but another handoff immediately follows to Carson Palmer. Palmer quickly wheels around to the right, throwing a quick swing pass to Caldwell.

Following from JB, this unique play is sure to be called on a crucial 3rd and 30 situation against Pittsburgh.

You guys are all brilliant. Just thinking about the X's and O's, er, I mean periods and commas is filling my heart with glee. Psycho, that triple reverse must have been revealed to you by a higher power. Any play that takes 15 seconds to develop has got to tire out the defenders. This should be our plan. The new playbook will include the new paradigm... Use the entire 1st half making the defense chase our QB around. This will wear them out so we can capitalize on them in the 2nd half. I love it when a plan comes together. I also love it when I get to use the word "paradigm" in a sentence because I used to think a paradigm was twenty cents......

I'm now envisioning a new slant on the old fumblerooski play. Only this time it's Andre the Hut stuffing the football under his jersey. The defense will think it's his third tittie and pay no attention. Meanwhile Andre slowly rumbles into the end zone untouched. The new playbook is taking shape.

Did you guys hear about the new first and fifteen play?

The duodecal reverse...TWELVE direction changes after the initial handoff. The defense will be so dizzy it can't fail!

This thread is a hilarious synopsis of the working mind of a Cincinnati Bengals fan .

BMN

The fake reverse on the goalline is a personal favorite of mine.

As is the shovel pass on 3rd and 2 when the defense is running a "prison break blitz".

1. Lineup in the old Army T-Formation, Double Tight--and pass only from that formation. F up the opponents right off the bat.

2. Lineup in 9 wide (PoleCat Formation). Center only at regular position. Carson in Shotgun. EVERYONE GO OUT FOR A PASS--BACKYARD FOOTBALL. Have the NFL do away with the OLD RULE--Illegal man downfield. Who needs that?

3. Line up in 5 Wide. 4 wide to one side. Have Carson swing the ball out on a WR Screen Pass to Chad. Carson sprints out to where Chad is. Chad pitches the ball to Carson. Let Carson get killed.

4. On those needed 4th and 30 plays, Chris Henry is a must on-the-field (because he's going to be doped up). Have him do a quick slant--then when the LB'er comes up to make the hit after 10 yards, have him pull out his 9 and shoot the LB'er in the head, Billy Cole (Billy Blanks) from Last Boy Scout-Style. That one should go for 6. LMAO.

5. Finally, eliminate all running plays from the playbook. They're boring. Take too long to develop. And really--who needs them? LMAO.


There's my top 5 of "additions". har har har.





"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

Oldschool, pic must be in handbook, how to hold handgun sideways, gangsta style. Of course he will get arrested for not having his carry permit, lol.

First and Goal on the 9 yard line....gotta be a punt, just drop it inside the 2 yard line!


See you couldn't do this thread if you supported a winning team. I love them Bengals. Thanks Mikey.



Right, I need to get on with some work now, but this thread has started my Friday morning off just nicely, thanks. Keep it up.

Bonus: Carson sets up in a 5-Wide WR Set (as usual)--only when the ball is snapped, all 5 Offensive Linemen do the Matador Special.


Oh wait. That's really going to happen. My bad.





"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

As we all know, Marvin Lewis mandated a persistent focus on the run game for 2009. Bratkowski thus drew inspiration from the old Woody Hays offense and devised a new package dubbed "3 Feet and a Cloud of Dust". It's slated for those rare plays inside the opponent's 2-yard line, known in Brat vernacular as "The Purple Zone".

Its biggest effect will of course be on PK Shayne Graham. He will now find it much easier to earn his franchise-player salary, considering the extra chip shots this will give him.

Best play ever



The Rudi sweep play

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In Memory of Darren

http://madgame.com/videos/1780/crazy-football-trick-play-.html

http://www.break.com/index/awesome-football-trick-play.html