Chase Coffman: all I want to do is catch passes but the coaches say I can't block

Jerome Simpson: I have these huge hands but the coaches say I can't run routes

Tom Nelson: The coaches keep wanting to play football but all I want to do is be a dentist

------------------------------------------
In Memory of Darren

Heh heh. Maybe Nelson does look a little like the dentist elf.

LMAO!!!

i'd say brian leonard or jordan palmer look more like the elf

Ok this thread has inspired me to write alternate lyrics to the song, "We're a Couple of Misfits." This is written in honor of Daniel Coats and J.P. Foschi.

We're a couple of tight ends
Both of us have got bad hands
Just because we drop footballs
Why dont we fit in?

We can run pretty good routes
Button hooks and some quick outs
Carson throw us the pigskin
Why dont we fit in?

If we catch it we're sur-prised
Thats when we get these big eyes
They should let us call slip-sies
Why dont we fit in?

Sometimes the ball hits our face masks
Its not so easy to think fast
Scary to see all those D-Backs
Why dont we fit in?

We're a couple of re-tards
We get paid to gain big yards
But our hands are both fu-bar'd
Why dont we fit in?

Fabulous.

This is Hall-of-Fame worthy...

TOBB

"For me it is far better to grasp the universe at it really is rather than persist in delusion, no matter how satisfying or reassuring."
-Carl Sagan

As I understand it from Slobson, the issue is no longer whether Chase Coffman can block, its whether he can participate on special teams adequately. Whatever, get the kid on the damn field!

"Falc, just because I respond, please dont take it to mean that I give a sh!t about you. I respond because you are the type of person that needs to be told what a whack job you are or else you will go on thinking your behavior is normal and accepted. "

Funny, JB! Hope you don't mind if I join in. This one is kind of obvious, so I added a pic for good measure. Well then, without further adieu, here's Mike Brown with his latest recording, Cash Miser...

I'm Mister No Christmas
I'm Mister Loss.
I'm Mister Scrooge Meister
I'm Mister Cheapie-Azz Boss!

They call me Cash Miser
Whatever I touch,
Stays right here in my clutch!
I'm too much!

[chorus]
. . He's Mister No Christmas
. . He's Mister Loss.
. . He's Mister Scrooge Meister
. . He's Mister Cheapie-Azz Boss!

They call me Cash Miser.
Whatever I touch,
Stays right here in my clutch!

[chorus]
. . He's too much!

I never want to know a fan that isn't completely a sheep!
I'd rather have 'em pay-up 'cause they know they're in this too deep!

[Speaking] Oh, some like it cheap, but I like it really cheap!

[chorus]
. . He's Mister No Christmas
. . He's Mister Loss
. . He's Mister Scrooge Meister
. . He's Mister Cheapie-Azz Boss!

They call me Cash Miser.
Whatever I touch,
Stays right here in my clutch!
I'm too much!

[chorus]
. . Too much!

"As I understand it from Slobson, the issue is no longer whether Chase Coffman can block, its whether he can participate on special teams adequately. Whatever, get the kid on the damn field!"


I guess Mikey still thinks it's 1958--and the TE is only utilized as another blocker. Like I said before, establish a SCHEME around a non-blocking catching-TE. Chase Coffman has all the records for TE's in the Big 12 for receiving TE's. Shame on f*cking Drunkowski for not coming up with a scheme for this guy. And shame on Mikey for trying to come up with schemes for convicts and washed up receivers. Yo guys, ever seen Gonzo or Gates lined up WIDE????????????

If you haven't, then you truly think that Jim Brown and Gayle Sayers are two of the best running backs in the NFL, CURRENTLY.

F*ck you guys.







"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

Good one Psycho. I'm feeling all Christmassy now. Next up, "The Grinch who stole football."...... stay tuned.

Youre a mean one, Mister Brown
An evil, scheming clown
Youre as charming as a Steeler
Youre the stingiest in town, Mister Brown.
Youre a rotten owner, and I wouldnt touch you with a nineteen and a half year old Ross Browner jock strap.

Youre a nut job, Mister Brown
The nuttiest around
You took your Jason Shirley
And turned him all around, Mister Brown.
Youre an arsenic and toad-stool sandwich, and a lot of other things I cant think of right now.

You smell bad, Mister Brown
In your nineteen year old down
You drafted Jerome Simpson
You really let us down, Mister Brown
You also drafted Odell Thurman and Akili Smith and David Klingler, you douche bag wanna be like your daddy clown.

Youre a moron, Mister Brown
Youve got no scouts around
And because you cant admit that
Youre too stupid for your job, Mister Brown
Youve got only one scout and he cant do his job until he brings you all the free samples from the Kroger sausage tray then hops in his Ford Focus and fills it up with gas from his own wallet so he can make a visit to Slippery Rock State in search of an impact clipboard holder.

Grinch Brown says...

"I'll have you know, JB, that you've violated copyright law by reproducing my theme song without permission. I'll be expecting a royalty check by the end of the week. And by the way, I've only had my down ski jacket for eighteen years!"

Too funny. I'm copying that pic.

There's always another Christmas song from a children's TV special to mine.

Frowney Browny Christmas

Have frowney Browny Christmas,
It's the worst time of the year
I'm sure you know the Bungs will blow
So have a mug of jeer!

Have a frowney Browny Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say what's so to sheep you know
And everyone brow-beat!

Uh oh see The Ocho,
Hanging 'round the tree
Flappin' his gums all night
Out for all to see!

Have a frowney Browny Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
All around me have frowney Browny Christmas
This year!

Have a frowney Browny Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say what's so to sheep you know
And everyone brow-beat!

Have a frowney Browny Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
All around me have frowney Browny Christmas
This year!

Bump. We're getting closer to the holidays.

Run, the football pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
We have to eat some clock pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
We will protect the lead pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Cedric will do the deed pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
rushing is fun passing is dumb


Marvin nodded pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Whitworth and Cook kept time pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Bratkowskis passed out drunk pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Oh how the offense stunk pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Carson is done Toss me my gun


Caldwell and Coles and Chad pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
How did things get so sad pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
We have no gifts for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
To lay before Mar-vin pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Roland is glum Coats is a bum


Shall we throw the ball pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Its third and fifteen yall pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Well run some routes for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Success seems mighty slim pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Playoffs for some Why did we come


So to honor Mike pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Back to the gun

Bravo, JB. Hilarious!

JB inspires me...

Ding Dong Moo-ily on High!

Ding dong moo-ily on high,
The cow bells are a' clankin':
Ding dong! ooh-ily oh my
The running backs are crankin'.
Gloria, bovinus in steakcelsis!

E'en so here uh oh, uh oh,
Let bell-cows be a' rungen,
And "We go, we go, we go!"
By Brown and Hobson sungen.
Gloria, bovinus in steakcelsis!

Gain you, for all endless time
Your yardage climb, ye clankers;
May you bust the holes in line
For first-downs long, ye tankers.
Gloria, bovinus in steakcelsis!

"Marvin nodded pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Whitworth and Cook kept time pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Bratkowskis passed out drunk pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Oh how the offense stunk pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Carson is done Toss me my gun "


That's the highlight of this thread. Especially the Drunkowski passing out bit.

LMAO. Good one, JB.





"So he got fired? Big deal. It's happened to the best of us. So he got kicked out of his house by his 400 lb'ed wife?!?!? That's probably better for him anyways."-OldSchooler on ChrisMBHater's absence

'Tis the season, with our magic number stuck at one.

All I want for Christmas
is a playoff spot,
a playoff spot,
yes, a playoff spot!

Well, you guys get the idea. More Christmas tidings to my fellow MBS'ers:

God rest ye merry, MBS.
Let nothing you dismay.
Remember, Mike, our terror
Stays home on Christmas day.
And leaves the team in Marvin's power
In state of disarray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy.
O tidings of comfort and joy!

Bump. from 2009.

---

-psychostats