Does she have a computer so you can "chat" via e-mail? That would allow her to vent without the children hearing it. Even phone calls might be better. But you might have to ask her not to talk about adult subjects when the children are around now that they are old enough to understand some of this. Surely she'd understand. Well, maybe not, but maybe if you explained it to her, she would. If you're just worried about her seeing her birthdaughter so often, that's harder, IMO. You've sort of established a pattern, and it will be hard to change it without hurting her feelings. Do the kids have activities that limit your time? Maybe you could use that as an excuse. I do agree that you should protect your daughter while she's young. Wish I had more ideas.