Here I go referring to my sister's experience again, but she is already a adoptive parent and I am not yet so her experience has been very enlightening to me. Anyway, she suffered from endo, adopted her wonderful, wonderful children 17 and 13 yrs. ago and never looked back, never pined for bioligic kids, etc. But a couple of years ago, when she was 50, her endo started acting up again and she had to have a hysterectomy. She said all of a sudden, she became depressed and bitter about her IF all over again. She suddenly was jealous of pregnant women, couldn't bear to hear stories of pregnancy and labor, etc. She said she just felt betrayed by her body and reminded that that whole aspect of her never worked properly. Maybe she had twinges of that through the years too, but it really exploded again around her surgery.
I have similar emotions as yours. I am getting so excited about our adoption. I am ready to be a mom. I know that I will love this child unconditionally. I am not even sure that pregnancy would be best for me since I have had some health issues in the past that might be excacerbated by pregnancy. NONETHELESS, I still feel sad that I will never have experienced that. I still feel a little defective somehow and am very uncomfortable hearing pregnancy and birth stories. My younger sister just gave birth to her first at 41 after more than 10 yrs. on the pill and ambivalence about motherhood--she got pregnant the first month after stopping BCPs. You can surely imagine how difficult that was for me! I think there is an aspect of IF that never goes away. It's just part of your identity. Doesn't mean you are crippled by it or that you wrangle with it day to day. And in fact, you probably are thankful in some strange way for it since it has brought you the wonderful kids you have now. But there it is and there it will be. Like so many other things in our lives that weren't pleasant experiences but that somehow have brought us to a good place. You are definitely not alone in this!
Sorry I went on so long! I am glad you posted this.
Cyncie