New to this borad with questions/sorry its long!!!!
by Karen C. (no login)
I am just starting to think about adoption. Ia m not sure about international or domestic. My DH is 46 and I am 38 yrs old so time is of the essence. My Dh also has children from a former marriage that concerns me because they are biologically his. I am very scared and nverouse about all this. I had three failed IVf attepts and am just finishing my 4th attempt my blood test is this friday and I am a nervous wreck. already thinking about adoption. I already have some many issues and concerns regarding my Dh & his feelings regarding his ex-wife (being the mother of his children and I am not) and his children versus me I think is ist fair to bring a child into a marriage where I am already second best to my Dh and his family (particularly his mother and his children) but I so desperatley want a child of my own. I want a family of my own. As nuts as this sounds I see a psychologist and she says to once be selfish and do what I want and what I need . She tells me not to be a martyr that I have enough love for a child myself. Maybe my Dh will surprise me and the child will be the center of his life. I am not his children & his loyalty to his ex-wife are. I am always at the bottom of his list; and have to come to the point that its just the way it is . No one can change someone elsa or how they feel. I just want to love and nuture a child and spend the rest of my life building a family of my own with my dh. i just dont know if ti will ever be possible ( his children are 22 & 20 yrs old for the record they are not little ones any more). TIme is also of the essence. Is it too late for us because of my DH 's agee or my age. I am so scared and nervous about this I dont know where to start. Sorry for going on and on !!!