I know in my heart that you are right. MY Dhi says he wants to adopt,but I think becasue he justs wants this nightmare finally over, and so do I . BUt that reason is not good enough. WHat you said is exactly how I feel. IT eats me up inside being his second best, WHen his kids are around its like that sceanrio about the doggie in the window that is me. IT hruts but I love him and cant let go. I am not saying he is not a good man. HE really is , but he has this loyality to them over me; ,but I want a child before its too late. I want a fanmily of my own. All this scares me. especially since our fertility specialist cant understand why we are not pregnant. They says we a the perfect textbook case of invetro and dont understand why it dosent work!!!...How ironic is that!!!!