I'm glad you're enjoying your new role. I LOVE being a mommy! I don't really have much advice regarding the birthmother. I don't have experience with that since we did an international adoption. I do think she's surely grieving, though. I'd give her some slack, although perhaps you could suggest limits such as calling or e-mailing only at certain times. You could use your daughter's nap times and your lack of sleep as an excuse. My guess is that if you get more sleep, her contact wouldn't be so bothersome anyway. You are the mom and have to set proper limits, but I'm glad you're sensitive to her grieving. I can't imagine what she must be going through. Maybe someone else here would have some ideas for you.