Welcome to the Adoption Board! Here is a board for those interested in Adoption to trade information, experiences, and support! This board is dedicated to Julie (Jules) who has tirelessly helped many of us through the adoption process.
Our daughter was born ON MY BIRTHDAY September 21st. She came three and a half weeks early. DH and I were there throughout the labor. We met her about 1 minute after she was born. We are so in love. It was the most stressful/emotional three days of my entire life and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.
Blake May
6 pounds 4 oz.
19 1/2 inches long
May your children find you soon...however they come to you.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support over the last 5 years.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! She sounds just perfect! And on your birthday--wow! Fate! You will be pushed to the background for your upcoming birthdays, but you will be happy to be pushed. You'll want the focus on your beautiful daughter. If you get a chance, post a photo. Does she have lots of hair or is she a baldy? Is she pretty good tempered? She's almost a month old already!
Well, I know you need sleep, but tell us more when you get the chance. I know you're on cloud nine right now! It's the best feeling in the world--and what a holiday season you're going to have this year! I promise you it just gets better and better!
Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you! (Haven't checked in here in a while.) I know you're over the moon. So how are you settled in now? Do you have a photo to post?
The holidays will be especially fun for you this year. Sooooo happy for you!
I understand Bulgaria is opening back up to adoption and that singles will be allowed to adopt from there. So if you know of a single person who wants to adopt, that might be an option.
Hi, I'm noggin and have recently come off 2failed FETs and realize that maybe a way to increase our family is through adoption.
I have NO idea about adoption but am considering Central America, in particular Costa Rica b/c we have family there. Does anyone know about adoption in CR? If so, can anyone tell me the average time you wait for foreign adoptions? I assume US are a lot longer in wait, esp for babies and younger kids. Also any other countries that are considered a little less of a wait?
I have a 3yr old daughter. I know these boards have a lot of knowledgable ladies and hope I am not offending anyone w/my naivity w/asking such simple questions. Thanks for any info!
welcome to the (very slow) adoption board. there will be other ladies who will chime in here and who have more experience than me on these topics. sorry about your failed FETs. IF is such a drain.
not sure about costa rica. i visited there and asked a local whether adoption was an option and as i understood that you have to be a resident. i am sure your family can find out. i would be interested in knowing as well. what a great country.
i don't know about international adoption but i know a little about domestic and learning more everyday. we are likely going to go through catholic social services and the coordinator at our local branch said 2-4 years wait for an infant. we have not indicated that we would be willing to adopt a bi-racial child so that may lessen the wait. the thing i like about CSS is that we can also work with other agencies at the same time. there are two that we are looking at in addition to CSS. CSS bases fees on how much you and spouse/partner earn and have a max of 15K. very nice.
another way that you can go is through foster/adopt with your state agency. we have considered this as well but friends of ours have been waiting for over a year so it doesn't seem reasonable for us.
I remember all too well your story. I am in awe that you are strong-willed enough not to let your experiences disuade you from loving more kids. That is so cool
Honestly I posted this and I am ok if we dont get a baby, 1-3yrs is ok for me, biracial is ok, etc. I wouldnt disrupt the birth order w/r to DD. We do have one more FET in Dec/Jan. THat's bascially if for me. Either way, I'm looking for a 2nd child. I am keeping adoption as a real possibility bc 2/2 FET's have been NG (chemical this latest one).
My DH is still mentally in this failed FET and wont even talk about adoption unless our next/last FET is negative. I tend to go into things w/a plan B attitutde just in case based on our FET history. I'm approaching my mid 40's and actually being p/g is not nec for me. Just the 2nd/3rd kid is. I dont think he is anti-adoption, just not ready yet? Once we know more, I'm sure he will be more open to it is my guess.
So, I may be more of a lurker than an active participant here till Dec. tells the story. I would certainly not have any info to share being such a newbie in this! lol Thanks for the info you gave me. I did a websearch too and found info re:residence in CR too. I dont think it will be so ez but w/family there, there may be a way. I am a true believer of destiny so I'm sure our 2nd/3rd child will come to us somehow, just the details are a bit fuzzy right now!
I'm sorry about the failed FETs. That's such a blow, emotionally.
I am not familiar with adoption from Costa Rica. It would depend on the laws of that country. Maybe a web search would get you some answers?
International adoption varies widely from country to country. Some are much more expensive than others. Some require more trips than others (or none at all). Some take longer than others. But once you are on track to adopt, the timeline is a little more predictable (usually) than for a domestic adoption. (That's one of many reasons we adopted internationally.)
Ethiopia is growing right now. Other countries with many adoptions are Russia, the Ukraine, and Korea. But there are MANY other countries open for adoption.
Don't think there is one best way to adopt. There isn't. Otherwise, we'd all do the same thing. Think what's most important to you. Do you want an absolute newborn or is a year old baby or even a toddler okay with you? Does race matter (consider it from your child's viewpoint--are there minorities in your family or community or resources for minorities in your community?)? How long can you wait? Can you travel? Do you want something of a sure timeline or would you rather throw the dice that you might get a child tomorrow or never? Are you open to special needs (cleft lip, club foot, hairy nevus, etc.)? Do you want to be matched with a child or select your own? Different countries work it differently.
We adopted from China, but I cannot recommend China now UNLESS you are open to a special needs child. The wait for China has grown to be around seven years, and who knows what can happen in seven years? (For special needs, the wait is MUCH shorter.) Countries open up and close to adoption all the time, so I cannot say that I know the latest for all countries.
I would ask myself what's important to me and do some research on which countries fit my needs & desires. I'd also see if I'm eligible for the country. (Many have financial or marriage or age or even weight requirements for parents.)
If you come up with some specific questions as you do some research, I know the women here would be glad to share their thoughts and experiences.
I do wish you all the best. Adoption is wonderful!
Lots of questions for us to ask ourselves,...I wrote to Fishqueen but it should have been to you too b/c it sthe same info I'd like to share w/you.
I hope you dont mind but I cant re-type it all over again and my 3yr old is asking to "play w/me" right now.
Thank you for the warm welcome!
PS-I do know some info re:Columbia.....Foreign adoptions are not given priority over domestic ones. A friend was on the list 2yrs(almost) and although was @ the top of the list, nothing. She finally was told that as long as a Columbian couple wanted a kid/infant they(my friends) would be pushed aside in preference for the domestic couple. My friends were told that the only way they could circumvent this was to adopt multiples. They are now flying over to Columbia to finalize their adoption of four little girls from the same family ages 2-13yrs, abandoned by their mom. From zero to FOUR! They are in for a wild ride!
I have tried twice to register and got a confirmation on 8/19 and again yesterday saying the administrator would enable me soon but it seems they have a bug in the system because I am still not activated.
If anyone is already active on the board will you please post to give them a heads up about the problem?
We are a family hoping to adopt frozen embryos. We've been waiting for several years hoping to meet a couple and do a non-agency adoption. We have been blessed with three children though separate open adoptions...Bailey 16, Addison 10 and Levi 3. Hubby and I have been married for 21 years and he's my best friend and support. Waiting has been very hard but we know that there will be a family somewhere that will read about us and choose our family for their embryo babies. We just have to keep trusting that the Lord is in control and NOTHING is too difficult for Him to accomplish. t.
If you'd like to know more about our family, you can check out our blog below.
I see that you don't want to involve an agency. Another thought: I had an RE once offer us embryos for adoption. Perhaps other REs know of available embryos.
I know this sounds like we are just being really picky but with our other children, they all have open relationships with their birth parents. I worry that if I adopt embryos without knowing the family they've come from, my child/children from those embryos will feel she/he is not getting something the other children get...to know their genetic families. If I did not have three other children with VERY open adoptions this would not be such a concern.
DH and I have been trying to complete a domestic adoption for three years. We waited with one agency for two years and got nowhere. We signed on with two new agencies last summer but no luck yet. We also are doing our own advertising and working with an attorney for four months. I am working non stop on taking out ads, sending mailings, etc., but nothing. We are honestly ready to give up. I would appreciate any help. Thank you.
We did an international adoption, so I can't really give you advice. But if you look at back posts here, you can find information on what agencies and facilitators others have used that were good. I think the right person or agency can make all the difference, so I hope someone has some suggestions for you. Just don't give up. I promise it will be worth it in the end!
And got our DS within 8 weeks of the completion of our consult with Gloria. We are completely satisfied with her services. We plan on using her again for baby #2.
Hello,
I am new to the board. I was recently matched with a birth mother in Michigan and my agency told us that the baby can not be with us for the first two weeks. We expected that the baby would be able to stay in the hotel with us. She said the rules are related to the baby Jessica case.
I did a search and I can't find anything on this board or in google about people not being able to have their baby with them while they are waiting to go home. It is weird, there is so much info about the decision to adopt and after adopting but this stage feels like a big blank page.
Any info or experience shared would be most appreciated.
Thank you!
First Congrats!! What an exciting time for you! I would definitely ask your social worker for more information (that's what they're paid for), and ask her to send you a copy of the specific laws.
Here is a link to a page with some info about Michigan adoption laws. If your SW is of no help, it has some 800#'s that you could call and find out when parental rights are terminated, and information on when your "guardianship" starts after birth. It appears that the interstate compact in Michigan must be approved by the state before you take custody/guardianship. I may be mistaken though.
Thanks for the info and the congratulations.
It turns out this had more to do with the Michigan agency than the law. We are now working with a lawyer in Michigan and it appears that having the baby with us right away will not be an issue. Phew!
Congratulations!!! I had never heard of this law. I'm relieved this has been resolved, and I look forward to you posting more when you get your sweet baby.
DH and I are embarking on our journey for child #2. Our DS found his way to us 1/1/07, and we still pinch ourselves many times a day to ensure that he is not just a dream!!!! He is 19 months old now, and the love of our lives. We believe that he was meant to be with us, and if we are meant to have a second, he/she will find their way to us. The child that is meant to be with you will be with you. I believe this without a doubt. DS came to us very quickly, and we flew across the nation to get him without being told that he was meth positive until AFTER he was placed in my arms. If I had that information prior to flying across 2 time zones, we most likely would have made a very different choice. He is the most beautiful, amazing gift. I could not imagine not having him in my life. God's will be done.........
Lizzy, He did not have any of the short term nor long term effects from the meth. we worried most of the first 6 months of his life, mostly because of the fact that when we recieved the call that he was available, it because he was passed over by several adoptive couples because he has a sibling with tubular sclerosis. We made the decision to move forward with the placement although his chances of suffering from the same genetic disorder was a reality. Thank goodness that he does not have his siblings disorder, it would have presented by now. I am humbled by the fact that God wanted us to be together, and believe that although to find out about the meth was stressful at the time, everything worked out in the end. He is so smart and such a thriving little guy. I can not imagine that someone else missed out on his joy because he did not come with a perfect portfolio. I personally think that adoptive parents have to wait so long for placement partly because they themselves pass up the infants that do not meet their unrealistic criteria, ie, no drugs, no alcohol, full caucasion, not a product of rape, birth mom is in prison......
We went through the process of adoption utilizing a well respected Adoption consultant. She guided us through the process, learning to sign with more than one attorney/agency and she has her own national network that she would call us about situations. It was though her network, not the agency we also signed with, that DS came to us in just 8 weeks after completing our 2 phone consults!!!! Adoption,Advice and Guidance-Gloria Hawk, they were wonderful
We know of a couple that adopted both of their infants through her, and both were within weeks, not years after completing the consultations. I plan to utilize Gloria with baby#2. She was available for our many frantic phone calls with DS, and it was a major holiday.
we brought home a 7.5 month old cousin. her birth mom was doing horrible (drugs) but somehow managed to drag herself out of the gutter and make a case to the judge. it is a very long and twisted story with many layers of crap that includes 2 social services agencies and rotten and incompetant lawyers. my DH is a lawyer and we are still in shock. BUT this was not a typical adoption and we made many mistakes. we should have had the BM terminate rights before we brought baby home. she might not have but at least we would have been more prepared.
we are still considering adoption but will be simultaneously go for a DE cycle. it is alot to get back on the TTC routine after the loss that we have suffered.
we are looking at catholic social services because after DE we will be broke and they are so reasonable (but have long wait times).
We have two beautiful daughters from China. DH isn't interested in a third, although I'd jump onboard in a second! But I like to answer questions when I can and keep my ear to the ground on adoption issues.
We just adopted a baby girl in March (at Birth). What a true blessing for us! She is the love of our lives.
I'm so sorry for your disruption, and for the pain. I can't even imagine, but my thoughts and prayers are with you. I lurk here, but post mainly on the Green Board. Thinking about you.
Our agency called us last week. A birth mother chose us! We met with her on Monday. She is lovely! We don't know the sex yet, but if all goes well, we are expecting a baby in October! Please keep us in your prayers that the baby and birth mother are healthy and that this is a smooth road for us. Thank you so much for all of your support. May your children find your way to you soon.
Are you the same Christiane that has been posting since 1/1/08??? If so, you responded to my posts of when I was just getting my little Jacob. How excitng, and sometimes exhausting, but such a great time in your journey to becoming a parent. This will be the best gift to you ever!!!!! I never imagined how happy that I could be, until Jacob came into our lives. We are still on cloud nine. We are so happy and Jacob reflects that happiness. DH and I wish you the best!!!!! Get ready for some great times!!!!!
I can't believe that I finally get to return your GREAT wishes of joy and happiness!!!!!! DH and I just started the journey for baby #2. I will keep you posted. Enjoy the experience, it is so worth the wait!!!!!
I hope this continues to work out for you. Wow--you'll be a mom by the holidays! There's nothing like children to make the holidays extra special. Congratulations to you! I can't wait to hear if you're getting a son or daughter!
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