You say:
"READ THE BOOK AUTHORED BY YAHWEH...himself and you will understand what YAHWEH thinks and wants us to do. Simple as that."
Yahweh did NOT, I repeat did NOT, write a single word of the Bible. Every single word of the Bible was written by human beings. That is an undeniable FACT. Not only that, we know who most of the authors were. Same thing for the Koran. It too is a product of human authors. Unfortunately, Christian and Muslim religious fanatics will both claim their texts are the true, one and only, divinely inspired "word of God." Which is why Christians, Jews, and Muslims have been killing each other for centuries-all in the name of a loving, peaceful God.
Also, there are plent of absurd writings in the Bible, just like in the Koran. If you don't believe me, check these links out:
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/vulgar.html
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/absurd.html