Shlindrea rocked forward and back on the couch a couple times before kinetic energy finally took hold and pulled her up. "Ooof." [She seemed to be making that sound all the time now. "Ooof" when she rolls over at night, "Ooof" when she sits down, "Ooof" when she tries to bend over, and "Ooof when she stands up.] She was actually thinking about naming the little ankle-biter, Ooof. "Maybe for a middle name." she joked to herself as she made her way to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Sis!" It was Wike.
"Hi. What's up?"
"Oh, I was just wondering what you were doing today..." Wike sounded a little more excited than usual, and there was some kind of commotion going on in the background.
"What's going on over there?" 'Drea asked Wike, as she dug through the fridge.
"Oh, here? Um, nothing. Hubby's got the TV on. I'll go in another room." Wike was trying not to giggle.
"What are you laughing about?"
"I'm not laughing. I was clearing my throat. Are you eating again?" Wike changed the subject.
"Mmmm hmmm. It seems like I'm always hungry now that the baby's dropped."
"What are you eating?"
"Pickled beets."
"Bleck!"
"With marshmallows!"
Wike gagged on the line, "Gross! How can you eat that?! You better stop. If you go into labor you'll be sick, and then the doctors will think you're horkin' up bloody cottage cheese."
"Mmmmm, cottage cheese. I wonder if I have any of that. Oh, hey! Did I tell you I had another dream last night?"
Wike rolled her eyes on her side of the line. "What was this dream about?"
"Weeeeeell, it had James Marstars in it!"
"Of course. Your husband has been gone too long. You are obsessed with James Marstars."
"Yes I am, and I wouldn't talk if I was you. Anyway, about my dream, James was wearing those purple silk shorts, and we were alllllll alone. I was wearing silk too, and we were sitting in front of a fire with chenille throws and pillows all around us. I won't give you all of the dreamy details, but at one point that fine man looked directly into my eyes, leaned over, and dipped his..."
"NO! I don't want to know!! Wike was practically plugging her ears.
"...egg roll right into my Dove chocolate!" "He..."
"WHAT?? Egg rolls and Dove chocolate?! GIIIIIIIRLLLL! You are even nasty in your dreams. Don't tell me anymore."
"What's wrong with egg rolls? Actually, I've been craving Chinese food lately." "So, why did you call?"
*************
A short while later, Wike was off of the telephone, having convinced 'Drea that she only called to invite her to a simple little lunch, just the two of them, and yes, Chinese food was fine.
"Does she have any idea what's going on?" Whisper asked.
"Please. She's too busy trying to find shoes that fit. I hope she doesn't show up in those bunny slippers again." Wike giggled.
"I hope she DOES!" Whisper laughed.
*************
It took the Amazons a little while to decorate the private room they had reserved at the Chinese restaurant. The owners were a little confused, but it was a Monday, and they knew this was about the only business they were going to get that day, so they didn't say much.
"Where am I supposed to put these? By the way, what ARE these?" Fayee asked holding out nipple shaped bottle tops.
"Ummmm, I think those must be a mistake." Kendaa examined the tiny nipples. "They don't look like they'd fit on a bottle, and who would make them look so real?!"
"There they are!" Wike and Whisper exclaimed together. They had been digging around in their bags of treats for those. "You attach those to the top of everyone's non-alcoholic beer bottle." Whisper said.
"Eeeewwww! You're supposed to drink out of that?!!!" Shamba's eyebrows rose a bit.
"Well, yeah. They're funny! Look!" Wike grabbed up a bottle, attached the nipple, and banged the bottom of the bottle on the top of another bottle. Suddenly, foam rose from inside the beer bottle and squirted out the top.
"GROSSSSSS!!" Was the consensus, except for Mermaid who was rushing to put hers on her bottle, and Deina who was rolling on the floor laughing.
***************
As the others were looking like Whisper and Wike had lost their minds, Wike was rumageing through the bag of goodies.
"AaaHAH! Here it is!" she said, as she pulled out what looked like a big diaper with an even bigger diaper pin in it. "I knew I had thrown that in here!"
The Aussie Brats looked at each other and shook their heads. Knowing that she shouldn't be surprised by anything these two come with, Fayee sighed and said, "Ok, I give, what's with the giant diaper?"
Whisper giggled. "Should we tell them? Or show them?"
Wike gave a wicked little giggle of her own and slammed it on Whisper's head. Tilting the diaper back at a jaunty angle so she could see, Whisper explained. "It's the New Mommy Crown!"
Handing Whisper a giant bottle brush, Wike said, "And this is the New Mommy Scepter!"
Kendaa, who was starting to shake with laughter, asked "And where is The New Mommy Throne?"
About that time in walked Jessi with the object in hand. "Sorry I'm late. Here's the potty chair you asked me to pick up."
"Great! Thanx Jessi! Now all we need is for Shamba to get here with the party games and CJ with the "punch", and we'll be all set. Have any of you seen those two?" Wike asked as she took the "Throne" to the "Throne Room"."
"Nope, I haven't seen CJ since we told her she had punch duty. She did have a weird gleam in her eye when she left though....." Mallenia said as she came in carrying the cake.
*****************
"Hey, the cake looks great! But I'm thinking that's not big enough for anyone to jump out of...." Fayee said as she eyed the cake. Turning to the other Brats she asked, "You are going to have someone jumping out a cake right?"
Wike elbowed Whisper, "You can tell they don't do baby showers down under." She said with a chuckle.
Whisper gasped. "What? You don't do baby showers? Do you have Tupperware parties? Those are the BEST!"
Kendaa and Fayee just looked at each other. "Yanks...." Kendaa said shaking her head. "They're a strange bunch...."
As Wike and Whisper stood there trying to decide whether they were insulted or not (
) Wike's cell phone rang. "Speak Freak!" she answered. "What?! Are you sure? Ok..ok... calm down...what? I am calm!" She said as she started looking around for... for... she had no idea. "Keep calm, keep calm." "I'm talking to
me not to you!" She shouted into the phone.
About this time Whisper figured out who Wike was talking to and what was happening. She grabbed the phone outta Wike's hand and started speaking. "How far apart are they? Yeah? Ok, do they stop when you sit down? Yeah. Ok. Have you lost any water? Ok."
Kendaa and Fayee looked at Whisper with a look of total confusion and at Wike as if she'd lost her mind. "Lost water? Stopping when she sits? Wike, what the hades is going on?!" Fayee asked, as she grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. "Speak woman! What's wrong?"
Whisper, still on the phone, looked and Wike with a look of disgust. She covered the mouth piece and a snarled, "Get yourself together! Now is NOT the time to go brain dead!" Speaking into the phone again she asked, "Can you drive or should we come get you? Ok. We'll meet you there." Turning off the phone, Whisper grabed Wike by the hand and turned to the others in the room. "You keep working on the room. We'll be back in a couple of hours." "Maybe."
Kendaa, having a vague idea of what might be happening, said, "We're going too! Cm'on!" She elbowed Fayee, as she started following the other two.
"Will someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?" Fayee yelled while chasing the others out the door.
Whisper hollered over her shoulder, "'Drea could very well be having her baby!"
Sapphira looked at Bastet and Aquila and then at the girls who were deserting them, "Just GREAT!" "Oh well, I guess we do it
MY way!"
smirk
Wike, who was still freaking out, was heard saying, "Omygod...omygod...omygod...."
*************************
By the time Wike, Whisper, Fayee, Kendaa, and 'Shana (who just happened to be hurrying INTO the restaurant and got trapped in the hustle) finally forced themselves into Whisper's convertible (top UP) and through Christmas traffic to the hospital, 'Drea was sitting in the waiting room with a look of complete and utter (you KNOW I wanted to say "udder") frustration on her face.
"Why are you out HERE?" Wike insisted?
"What's going on?" The others said in unison, with 'Shana clicking away on her camera (for posterity).
"False alarm." Pouted 'Drea. "They said I was leaking, but not the right KIND of leaking ."
The other girls just looked at her, looked at each other, and burst out laughing!
"We're sorry, 'Drea, really!!" Kendaa said, patting the embarrassed mommy-to-be on her shoulder.
"Tell ya' what." Wike said. "You come home with me for a little while, and then we'll go have that lunch we were talking about."
'Drea perked up at the idea of food. "K!" "Let's go!" 'Drea started waddling toward the door with a new bounce in her step.
Wike shrugged to the others, who assured her with nods and winks that all would be ready in time.
****************************
An hour later, all of the Amazons were huddled in the back room of the Chinese restaurant, trying like crazy to keep their fingers out of the finger food .
With perfect timing, Wike's voice could be heard saying to the host at the front door, "WE'LL GO EAT IN THAT BACK ROOM." (She didn't sound obvious at all.
).
Wike entered first and stood to the side. 'Shana hit the music. The song, "I Got You Babe!" resonated through the crepe paper that was hung like ribbons all over the ceiling. 'Drea entered the room with a complete look of surprise and wonder, but she was laughing hard by the time Wike was placing her diaper-crown on her head, bottle-brush-septor in her hand, and directing her to her adult-sized-potty-seat-throne. Amazons from all around paid homage to Queen Preg-O, by presenting her with diapers in varying sizes, bibs of varying colors, laundry detergents in varying containers, and mountains and mountains of wipey-dipes.
As soon as the initial presentations were complete, 'Drea was lead to the front of the buffet line where she loaded up with as much of everything that she wanted. The other Amazons followed, and before long everyone was eating, talking, well wishing, and laughing. Amazon was happy to show 'Drea how the "bottle nipples" worked, but it was Fayee who began actually squirting people. Lil took a face full of nipple foam, and a mighty roar was heard when she realized it was non-alcoholic beer!! Sarge, Shait, Elara, and Red Storm took that roar as an invitation to continue.
Oh the party they had!
***********************
We can't tell you if the cake was ever cut. The restaurant owners threw the lot of 'em out after about three hours...
***********************
Congratulations 'Drea! We can't wait for you to have your new little addition!
Happy Virtual Baby Shower!!!
From your Forum Family!!
