Got this off another site, I thought it was cute.


Two new chemical elements have recently been discovered. Here,for the first time, is a description of their properties:

1. Element Name: WOMAN
------------------------------
Symbol: Wo

Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there!)

Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable.

Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.

Violent when left alone.

Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.

Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known to man.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


2. Element Name: MAN
------------------------------
Symbol: Xy

Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kids. (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time.

Neutralized by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.



Red

That's hilarious!! Thanks!

Shhh,
Whisper

OMG...too funny!!! thanks for the laughes!!!