hi all, ok, no offense meant, and a couple of these are almost risque, or adult language, but hope no one is offended...warning: do NOT have a mouthful of coffee or tea or whatever when ya red these, not reponsible for ya spewing it all over the screen laughing!
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>COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT MEN
> >
> > >Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in
pain
>on
> > >the>ground?
> > >A. Shoot him again.
> >
> > >Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
> > A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and
the
> > noose.
> >
> > >Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's
>penis?
> > >A. His body.
> >
> > >Q. Why do little boys whine?
> > >A. Because they're practicing to be men.
> >
> > >Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> > A. One - he just >holds it up there and waits for the world to
revolve
> > around him.
> >
> > >Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> > A. Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
>about
> > the screwing part.
> > >
> > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
> > >A. Trustworthy.
> >
> > >Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and
> > >calling >your name?
> > >A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
> >
> > >Q. Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
> > >A. To knock the penises off the smart ones.
> >
> > >Q. Why do men name their penises?
> > >A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90%
of
>their
> > >decisions.
> >
> > >Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
> > >A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
> >
> > >Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
> > >A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
> >
> > >Q: What's the best way to torture a man?
> > A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him
to
>pick
> > only one.
> >
> > >Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
> > >A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
> >
> > >Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
> > >A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
> >
> > >Q: What is the difference between men and women...
> > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
every
> > woman to satisfy his one need.
> >
> > >Q: How does a man keep his youth?
> > >A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
> >
> > >Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> > >A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ROFLMAOPIMP!!! me...cynical? nawww...ya think?!
love and hugs,
Sapph