The Mighty God Thor was riding across the skies on his fiery steed Pegasus.

He raised his hammer and bellowed, "I'M THOR! I'M THOR!"

Pegasus looked up at him and muttered, "You thoulda wore your thaddle, thilly."

and did he have a rose between his teeth? <WEG>

hugs
fayee

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fayee}}}}}}}}}}} Isn't it a good one? I really liked it, hehehehe

Kendaa aka Jokester

I love it!!! I gotta remember that one! So, Kendaa, you're the 'The Jokester', hmmm? Great one!


God bless,
Deina

Okay, I've heard another variation of the "Thor" joke. It's not clean, but here it is:

The great god of the Norse gods, Thor, (who was a handsome man in his own right) looked down upon his kingdom one day and said, "There are some Mighty Fine lookin' women down there!"

In all the time it took to throw a hammer, he had descended from his home in the sky, found himself a real looker, and they were in the sack. He was thrilled! This woman was all he could have hoped for (she was very bendy)! The woman was impressed too! Finally, a man who really could go all night! The two of them kept this activity up for three solid days.

Finally, at the end of the third day (while they were resting), Thor looked at the beauty in his arms. He thought, "I really should give her the benefit of knowing who she's been dealing with. It wouldn't be fair to mortal men if I didn't." So, with a smile, Thor reached over and brushed the hair away from her drowsy face. "My darling," he said "I'm Thor." The woman looked up from lying in his arms with an incredulous look on her face, "You're thore?! I'm tho thore I can't even pith!"

.......

ehem...

.......

Shhh,
Whisper

(going away now )

Oh my God of Thunder!

Whisper...that's hilarious!

OMG!!!! I nearly busted something laughing at that one! LOLOLOLOLOL!

LOL Deina - Jokester was moi

From a friend

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten".

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.


Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing
appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force could change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strikes twice except in stories like these, but while he was thinking of being a prawn,
a flash of lightning struck the water next to Justin and, lo and behold, he turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.

Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate, the memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Christian replied, "No way, man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked."


Justin cried back "No I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed..."



(Wait for it!!!)




(This is a goodie!)




(Well worth the wait!)







......"I'm a prawn again Christian".........

That was terrible! It was so bad, I can't even believe you typed it!!! LOL!

Oh MAN! I'm not sure I have guts enough to send that one on! LMAO!

Shhh,
Whisper

I didn't type it - I copied and pasted it, LOLOL!!!!

It is pretty bad, eh? LOL!

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie soda = 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1000 aches = 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

(And you thought they couldn't get worse )

You should be ashamed! LOL! OMGs!

Shhh,
Whisper

We need to find Kendaa a hobby!

With friends like this .... hey wait what am I saying .......... your friends have impecable taste with their jokes LOL.

Hey Kendaa - that prawn one - I sent to a couple of mates at work as my 'send off' so they won't forget me while I'm away LOL

hugs
fayee

Well I would be ashamed - if I'd made it up, LMAO!!!!

And LOL Fayee - I'm sure I can hear them yelling "Don't come the raw prawn with US!!!" LOLOL!!! <g,d,rvvf>

Hobby? What hobby? I have a hobby? Going nuts IS my hobby

You just crack me up!

Okay, (Whisper whispers to Kendaa) *I liked the joke*, but you can't make me admit it ever again!

Shhh,
Whisper

TICKLETICKLETICKLETICKLETICKLE - cm'on, you KNOW you wanna admit it again...TICKLETICKLETICKLETICKLE

I think I found a new hobby - telling bad jokes

Why should you never run in front of a bus?
You'll get tired.

Why should you never run behind a bus?
You'll get exhausted.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?
He's all right, now. In fact, he's fully recovered.

What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog?
Out, out, damned Spot!


What did the girl mushroom say about the boy mushroom?
He's a real fun-guy.


Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looked at them and said, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger is allowed."

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit?
They called it the herd shot 'round the world.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.

"I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No ideer

Q: Where did napoleon keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies

Q: Have you seen the dog bowl?
A: No, but he's good at batting

Radio: Police are looking for a man with one eye called George.
Boy: What's his other eye called ?

Q: What do you do if you see a blue frog?
A: Stop and cheer it up.

Kendaa's on a roll!!!

Shhh,
Whisper

afraid - be VERY afraid Snicker

I think I was temporarily insane last night, LOL!