Eulogy For My Best Friend

My best friend died today. I met him 12 years ago at another friend's house. I had a somewhat unusual relationship with him, as he actually came to live at my house. Best friends don't normally live with you, but he was different. I'm not gay, you'll understand in a bit. He was the absolute coolest best friend anyone could have. He never talked too much, never gave me a hard time about girlfriends, never got pissy about having to sleep at the foot of the bed. He was great.

Ten years ago my first girlfriend died and the experience nearly killed me. Literally. Three weeks after her death, I was on the edge of my bed trying to figure out how to aim the shotgun and reach the trigger at the same time. He stopped me in his own unique way. He saved my life.

Throughout all the years I knew him, whenever I was sick or hurt or sad he was always there for me. He was there when I came back from California, dumped by my fiancee and never told why. He was there everytime another girl screwed me over. He was there when three of my family, a full quarter of my living relatives at the time, died on September 11th. He was there when I learned that my first girlfriend's doctor had been a serial killer and that she might have been murdered ten years ago. He was always there for me.

Three years ago he was diagnosed with liver cancer and, at the time, given three to four months to live. He not only broke that four month limit, he shattered it. But today he died.

He'd swollen up badly over the past several weeks and was suffering from movement debilitation and an inability to clean himself. Today, for the first time, he actually verbally expressed pain. So I took him to the hospital and did what needed to be done. I held him in my arms as he died. He never closed his eyes. I asked him to keep my first girlfriend company for me. I don't know what his response was, or even if he heard me. You see, my best friend for the past twelve years has been a black and white cat named Stupid. And today I was finally forced to have him killed to prevent him from suffering any further.

He was my best friend, and I shall never forget him.