I need some input on what I should have done today. I'm still not sure I did the right thing by doing nothing. I always believed it wasn't my place to interupt a parent disiplining there kid but today should have been the exception, I feel like crap. I was in walmart walking down one of the isle when I heard a little girl crying standing around her were her brothers and sisters and her father sqeezing her wrist very hard. Something that went through my head was if I get involved will the father take it out on the little girl later? I felt I should have at least walked up to the man and said "You know what your doing is child abuse."
So a father squeezing his daughter's wrists is child abuse ?
Mind your own business. Oh, and btw, Wal-mart would probably had fired you if you said something and the father made a stink about it.(which I guarantee he would)
Parents should be able to discipline their children within reason, for Christ's sake, squeezing her wrist? If the guy shoved the girl down, or hit her, or slapped her in the face, pushed her into something, kicked her, strangled her, or did something else to her equally damaging thats one thing, but spanking, squeezing her wrist, pulling her along with him, those things are reasonable for a parent to discipline their child.
You hear things on the news all the time like "my child swears at me, he/she's out of control! I can't do anything!" Yes you can, if your child swears at you, ****ing spank him/her. I can assure you a few good spanks will knock some sense into the child.
I was just shopping there and am not employee there. I agree that alot of kids are bad now days but maybe if you saw it yourself you might think differently however maybe not. I thank you for your comments.
Truth is ..no one else was there to see what he saw.
I dont like turning blind eyes to things like that ..because you hear about it in news all the time where social services didnt take something serious and kids end up dead or abused.
What i can see happening from what you described is a father who was probably stressed out with kids acting up around him, possibly trying to finish everything up so he can get to work in time, frustrated that the kids mother was not there helping.
Unless you are a parent, you can not appreciate the anxiety that comes along with being a parent. Further it sez alot that kids were there with him shopping at all, you read in the news how parents leave kids in the car or at home abandoned.
how do I apply Bruce Lee's JKD to this you ask ..
good question....
Tao Of Jeet Kune Do...
Do not be for or against, so the truth may reveal itself to you. - Bruce Lee.
Look, whether it is squeezing a childs arm too hard or anything like that, it is still abuse and seperate from giving a kid a spanking for being bad, men that not control them selves and their tempers are dangerous to all involved!
This seems to be a lack of control with anger at it's core!
I have beatin down two men that were beating the hell out of their wives. And I will do it again!
There is a difference between discipline and Abuse!
So the people that turn a blind eye are only contributing to it!
Yet another problem of Society!
A real man would not do this!
And it is the neglect of parents these days and the lack of proper reasoning and attitude to discipline your children
You do not have to beat a child to teach them things
Just have to know how to talk to them and be a responsible parent!
Parents are so busy ect. and perhaps neglect is a bad form of parenting also regardless of the issues or problems
as martial artists we must understand controling anger ect
Physical or mental abuse no matter the amount of it or type involved!
You know I used to be in the camp of people who thought smacking a child for misbehaviour was ok. Untill my bother in law showed me different. My nepwhe used to be spoiled rotten and was turning into a real brat, you could see him going down a bad route, ok his was 3, but these things start early. Anyway his new step dad, never once had to smack him. He sat him down in his room and literally sat with him untill he stopped misbehaving.
Now I understand that not all parents have this patient nor education. And smacking is the lazy way to resolve the issue. It is not always malicious, and I do defend the rights of parents to decipline their child to the best of their ability. However there is a point where we must draw a line.
In this situation as I was not there I can not say if intervention was necessary. What I can say is the well done for even thinking about the child. I am sure if you where definate that this child was being abused you would have done something. As it was you can not step in all the time as you may ruin the authority the father has over the childs dicipling this is extremely important factor in parenting.
So don't beat yourself up about it, you probably did the right thing.
I wouldn't say the other route would be about taking too much patience. i don't think complacency should be considerd as i think that's how the alternative approach is being seen. It's not about being complacent or soft, but rather showing a firm seriousness in your words or actions. i'm all for disciplining a child but don't take it to the realm of torture.. something i've been through as a kid..
You know my nephew now does not need this type of punishment now. he is only six but is extremely well behaved.
You see in the long run it is less time consuming to put the effort in. How many kids do you see getting smacked untill they are too old to get smacked. Quite alot. Why because, smacking does not defeat the mind. When the child knows in the mind that what he does is wrong and that he can not get away with it, that child will not do it.
Smacking does not necessarily have that effect, the child is too busy thinking of the pain, rather than why they are in trouble.
Even now I can't forget the pain at 22. Things are better between me and the parents than before but still that shroud of pain still lingers in my head it prevents me from completely accepting my parents and they way they are now.
The other day she had to advise a customer to stop hitting her kid or they would call the police, apparently she was hitting quite frequently and pretty hard. There are cameras everywhere and they watch everyone.
It is hard to say, I didn't see what you saw. If your regretting it now, you probably should have done something. If you do decide to step in, be ready. I know I would loose my sh1t if someone stopped me from disciplining my kid. In public or not.
My mother was a single parent raising 3 children. She often worked long hours and struggled to put a roof over our heads and food in our stomaches. She did a heck of a good job if you ask me. She use to whip us if we got out of line and it wasn't frequent or for little things but only if it was warranted. She warned us plenty of times not to do something before she grabbed the belt. There were other times when the severity of our actions either warranted or did not warrant that type of punishment.
She also had other measures of disciplining, including taking away tv privelages or sending us to bed early. She tried lots of things but sometimes the belt or a wire had to be inflicted to get our response. I would say that 9 out of 10 times I knew that my actions if found out would get me a whipping and she didn't even have to tell us why we were being punished because we knew that we did wrong. Although, she always did tell us why we were getting punished even if we didn't have to ask.
She was tame compared to the way her parents brought her, her sisters and brothers up. I'd rather get a quick 2 or 3 licks off the belt than have to kneel on rice while holding bibles out in each hand or getting locked up in the basement.
We each have been brought up differently and will more than likely judge what is and not appropriate punishment for children by the way we were brought up. Some of us who were brought up being whipped may see that as a regular form of punishment and wont even blink twice if we saw someone punishing their child in that manner. Others who were brought up standing in the corner or given time outs may see things differently.
In my perspective smacking a kid in the face is unacceptable but I was brought up getting hit by belts mainly and never in the face. Others who have been smacked in the face and had their mouth washed out with soap may see that as a good disciplinary measure but would scorn someone who whips their kid/s. While those that were punished by timeouts, standing in the corner and no t.v will see any type of physical punishment on a child as abuse. It's really a matter of perspective.
I'm a new dad. My triplets turn one on Dec 26th, so I haven't even have had to decide how I will give out punishments. I think that I may try everything reasonably possible before I have to spank them but if all else fails I may have to resort to it. As a parent I feel that it is up to me to judge how I will go about punishing my children. They will have to live with me for the next 18 years. I will raise them. I will bring them up to be decent human beings. What tools I use depends most on what they will respond to.
Personally i have dealt with beatings by my mother for no reason when i was fourteen at least. Trust me when your mother is hitting you because of drunken fury in the face it makes it pretty clear that a parent hitting a child is a fault of the parent's. Maybe not at all times at least but i know it is not a routine i would ever want to get into with my child. Plus my parents didnt spoil me, or hit me... I guess some children grow up with common sense.
tyler, you said "BEATING" a child is wrong, and to that I agree.
I'm talking about SMACKING. Where the child swears at you or something and you smack them on the behind. This isn't a damn JKD smack where you push off the rear heel and twist the waist no none of that. It's simply a smack which may not even make them cry, just a sting that hurts to make them get the message that whenever they do something bad that pain will come.
The new revised version of Jiyasa and NWFish's comments!!
NWFish: I have beatin off in front of two men that were beating off in front of their wives. And I will do it again!!
Jiyasa: Isn't that hot? I've noticed you seem to have a long list of "real-life orgies" to back up your claims. It doesn't work and it doesn't make your ass look any more voluptuous!
Well yeah, you wouldn't see the humor cause the joke involves you. LOL Plus everyone knows you are a deadass with no sense of humor anyways so who cares what you think. I thought it was hillarious!
This message has been edited by KogaNinja on Dec 10, 2003 2:00 AM This message has been edited by KogaNinja on Dec 10, 2003 1:49 AM This message has been edited by KogaNinja on Dec 10, 2003 1:44 AM
