I know Fear is good for fighting but can anyone help me to control my fear. I think my fear controls me more then i control it. For example, sometimes i wont spar someone at my maximum level because of fear..

You need to accept what your doing otherwise do not do it. When you accept you loose your fear.

Fear is no good thing. You should not fear or be angry or happy, when you fight, fight with a steely determination. focus on the job at hand. Fear is for those who lack the will to do what is needed.

Question everything, Know nothing.

Fear is for pansies, as you can see in my videos im not afraid, i am Bruce Lee's disciple.

Fear is suffering.
Before an event of practice, or self defense all we are is the result of what we have learned. Our self defense is founded on our knowledge, it is made up of our thoughts.
The distraction of fear comes around to the ill prepared the same as a sticky object stuck to the surface of a slow turning wheel.
If a person prepares themselves in martial arts physically, mentally (knowledge), and spiritually, fear will ware away and calm will follow like a shadow that never leaves. These words may be new, but they are based on an ancient rule.
Regards,
Zhi

I think FEAR is good to have, of course you should not have alot of it because you will freeze and not do as well, but it's good to have. WHY? Because it will help you to be quicker, smarter, stronger, more determained.



Without fear YOU are a loser.

Fear can be a valuable servant but it is also a terrible master!

Fear is often confused with the "will to live", which is an entirely separate instinctive quality which also provides an instant adrenaline rush.

In sparing or combat fear becomes an "inner opponent", a confusing distraction that tells you that you can't, or may not be able to handle the situation, you're not good enough, not strong enough, fast enough, trained enough, etc.

To answer the original "Fear" question that said, "sometimes I won't spar someone at my maximum level because of fear."

I have used the below techniques to desensitized and counter conditioned myself to overcome such fear:

1) by sparing with opponents that I feared, for brief periods of time (stopping immediately on the agreed time limit, even if nothing much happened, or even if I seemed to be doing well), then increased time periods as my fear subsided.

2) and/or by sparing at an agreed low intensity for the reason of both gaining knowledge of movements and technique. It was a way of becoming used to facing an opponent that I feared. Then I went back to 1)

3) I rewarded myself for not responding to fear.

You must find your own way, but which ever way it is, give yourself as much time as needed to work toward your goal. Be very careful not to over do it and expose yourself to more fear and/or anxiety.

I believe one should work toward a calm conviction and confidence that one will not loose in a combative "self defense" situation if it is at all possible to win.
Regards,
Zhi

fear is the main reason most people want to learn matrtial arts...fear of being a victum, being bullied, robbed, beaten on , raped, etc. when you decide to learn a defense method or MA, you have taken the first step toward facing your own fears. like those who are afraid of heights, they go sky diving, those that are afraid of spiders,they learn to play with a tarantula. etc. as some one posted above, this is a step by step process, baby steps at first, then you walk, and eventually you run.(take that literaly if the guy pulls a weapon,lol) just find sparring partners that are willing to work with you insted of taking advantage of you. goodluck!

The real question you must ask yourself is what are you afraid of. One thing that I heard along time ago still rings try. Fear is nothing but another level of respect. You do not fear somthing because of nothing, you fear the possiblities of what it can do. Once this is realised then your fear will leave you but it takes along time to get there.

Invite fear into your heart and laugh at it, mock it. Tell yourself that you have no reason to fear it, even if deep down you don't believe it, say it in your mind. Retrain your mind with possitive affirmations. The more you put yourself in a position of fear, the more fearless you will become. Do something that you would normally fear and do it daily, if you can't put yourself in that fearful situation, creat it in your mind and come up with sulutions to that situation.

If you fear that you will get into a fight. Then train harder and smarter. Ask yourself, why do I fear any man? Is it because he's bigger then me? How do I defeat a bigger opponent? He has 2 arms and 2 legs, and breaths the same air as me, he's human, not super man. How do I become a better fighter... spar bigger opponents! Win or lose, learn from every sparring match.