Welcome to Michelle's Ratty Realm...  

***Scroll down to see the NEW Ratvocate quiz!!!***

Take the Rataholic quiz to see if you are addicted to rats! Read each question, if you answer "yes" add one point to your score. When you finish the quiz, count up your points and score yourself to see if YOU are a true RATAHOLIC!

~*~*~ You are a Rataholic if… ~*~*~

> You consider your rats to be your children

> You made photo cards with your rat’s picture

> You make your rat’s dinner before you make your own

> Your rat cage takes up 1/8 of your home

> You have more rat-friends than people-friends

> You spend at least half of your income on rats

> You composed a song or poem about your rats 

> Your rats sleep with you

> You don’t understand why people shudder when you put a rat in your clothes

> You spent $500 on your rat for his birthday

> You stayed home from work or school to take care of a sick rat

> Half of the food in your home is designated as rat treats

> People age visibly in the time it takes you to tell them about your rat

> You beat up someone who said rats are ugly

> You can’t have a conversation with anyone without mentioning rats

> You bought an expensive zoom camera just to take rat pictures

> Your vet bills are higher than your people-doctor bills each year

> You allow your rat to pick food particles out of your teeth

> You smell so strongly of rat that wild animals run from you

> You know the music preferences of each of your rats

> You made formal clothing for your rats to wear to other rat’s funerals

> Your rat’s cage is immaculate, but your own house is always a mess

> You spend your free time making quizzes like this

> Your rat’s quality of life is significantly better than your own

> You nearly went into cardiac arrest when your rat sneezed

> You read bedtime stories to your rats

> You hold the world record for “Most rats crawling on face”

> Your friends have told you if you mention rats one more time they will assassinate you.

>  You discuss the consistency of your rat’s poop with your family at dinner

> You have fantasies of owning a rat farm

> You visited India just to see a rat temple

> You bake cookies for your rats

> You started a breeding program to create a 100% myco-resistant rat

> You are known to yell “OOOH RATTIES!!!” every time you see rats in the pet store

> You have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive rat disorder

> You wish it were legal to marry your rat

> You brought your rat to the post office to weigh him on a postage scale

> You have trained your rats to samba

> You trained your rats to communicate in Morse code by blinking

> When your rat sees you, he bruxes until his eyes pop right out of his head

~*~*~ SCORING ~*~*~

1- 10 points: You’re not as rat-obsessed as you think!!! Go spend some more time with your rats, maybe adopt some more. Keep working on it, you’ll be a rataholic one day!

11- 20 points: You’re rat-obsessed, but not quite a rataholic yet. Maybe you should go make some cookies for your rats, and while you’re waiting for them to bake you can knit sweaters for your ratties!

21- 30 points: CONGRATULATIONS you’re a rataholic!!! Steer clear of New York City’s subways, because you are very susceptible to going crazy when you see the signs that say “Caution- Rodenticide”. Remember, the only treatment for rataholism is MORE RATS!!! 

31- 40 points: WOAH do you think you’re going a little overboard maybe??? You have an extreme case of rataholism, which is completely incurable at this stage. You will have to be a rat owner for the rest of your life!

*** NEW ***

Are you a Ratvocate?

Many rat owners believe that it is important to educate the masses about how rats are the GREATEST pets ever. Some take it to an extreme. Are you an advocate for ratkind? Take this quiz to find out:  

1. When you overheard someone imply that rats are dirty, you…

a.       Grumbled and walked away

b.      Told him “That’s not true” and showed him all the rat pictures in your wallet

c.       Beat the living snot out of him

2. You found out that a store near your house used poison to get rid of rats, so…

a.       You boycotted the store for a year

b.      You set humane traps in the store and caught all of the rats

c.       You caught all of the rats, and then set the building on fire

3. Someone says “Eww gross” when you mention that you have rats, so…

a.       You tell them that rats are really good pets

b.      You tell them all the greatest things about rats, which you have memorized

c.       You pull out the rat that has been sleeping in your sleeve and insist that the person kiss your rat’s belly

4. When a television show depicted rats as vermin, you…

a.       Refused to ever watch the show again

b.      Wrote a nasty letter to the network

c.       Had all of your rats sign a petition that stated why the show should be taken off the air, and sent it to the network

5. You discover that your neighbor has snakes that are fed live rats. You protest by…

a.       Politely suggesting that he should stop feeding live rats

b.      Toilet-papering his yard

c.       Making little signs for your rats and picketing your neighbor’s house

 Scoring!!!

A = 1 point           B = 3 points          C = 5 points

5-10 points: You have a healthy respect for rats, but can do better than that!!! Sorry you’re not a true Ratvocate yet.

11-20 points: Congratulations you’re a Ratvocate!!! You love rats and you let people know about it. Keep up the good work!

21-25 points: You are a bonified Ratvocate, but if you keep it up at this extreme, you may find yourself in an institution.

Have you had enough rattiness for one day?

Of course not!