Rat Stories Rat Stories
Rat Stories are fictional dialogues written by me with some inspiration from my ratties. I will post a new chapter every week. Keep in mind: In this story, the rats and other animals speak to each other. All animals can hear each other, but people cannot hear animals, so Judy is oblivious to what her ratties say even if they're sitting on her shoulder. Supposedly the rat's voices are ultrasonic, so their voices cannot be detected by humans. A new chapter is added every Wednesday evening unless I forget it is Wednesday, in which case they wil be posted later on.
Chapter 24 has been posted! Be sure to visit my new Forum- feel free to post your input on the Rat Stories there. Don't be shy, e-mail me! Let me know your input and give me an idea of how many people are actually reading these stories.
Well, it's not exactly Redwall, but here goes:
The Raffins
THE RATS:
Cinnamon: A very smart, sweet little rat. She tries to be well behaved but Jezebel usually convinces her otherwise. (cinnamon pearl)
Jezebel: A mischievous, often sarcastic rattie whose curiosity always gets her in trouble. She has a crush on Nicky. (agouti)
Harriet: Nicky’s companion, born in a pet store. She is fixated on food, if she’s not looking for a treat she’s eating one. She is also very talkative and can make conversation with anything! (black hooded)
Nicky: A big adorable squishy boy, he was born in a petstore and is very smart. He is quiet and mellow, but hates hamsters with a fiery passion. J (champagne)
The Babies: Harriet’s litter of fifteen rat babies.
Skitter: An orphaned baby mouse who was adopted by Harriet.
THE PEOPLE:
Judy: The rat’s “mommy,” who gives them treats and tries to keep them out of trouble
Morty: The old pet store guy who has to clean all the cages. He hates anything with a tail.
Jamie: Judy’s neighbor who is new to rats but has adopted two of Harriet’s babies.
~~~~~~~~scroll down to see previous chapters~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 24: Lloyd
The rats are relaxing at home one afternoon, and Judy comes home from work. She puts an aquarium- set up for a small animal- on the table. She starts talking to it, and the rats listen. They can’t smell anything that would give them a clue as to what is in the aquarium.
Judy: Poor guy, don’t worry, you’re ok now.
Jezebel: What… Has Judy lost it entirely? She’s talking to a fish tank.
Judy: I’ll have you all set up in a few minutes, ok?
Cinnamon: No, there must be something in there… or someone…
Judy: Where am I going to put your cage, little guy?
Jezebel: She must have gone crazy, she didn’t come to feed us yet.
Judy walks over to the rats.
Judy: Oh, I’m sorry guys… I didn’t feed you yet…
Cinnamon: What a coincidence, here comes Judy to feed us.
Judy: You wouldn’t believe what happened today at work…
Jezebel: That’s no coincidence, it telepathy.
Judy: Someone comes up to me and says “You like animals, right?”
Jezebel: Well duh, you’ve got a house full of rodents who you have conversations with.
Judy: And she gives me this tank, she says her daughter got a pet but wasn’t taking care of it. So she just decides to bring the whole thing in to work, and asks me if I’ll take it, and what was I going to do, say no?
Jezebel: Of course not. That’s how you got Nicky and Harriet!
Judy: So now you’ve got a new roommate… please be nice to him…
Jezebel: What IS it though? A rat?
Nicky: It had better not be a hamster. I can’t stand hamsters.
Judy: So there he is… His name is Lloyd.
Nicky: If that thing is a hamster I’m going to eat him. No questions asked.
Cinnamon: Oh come on Nicky, be nice. He was neglected, you’re familiar with that.
Nicky: I’ll bite him in two and eat him right here and now. With ketchup.
Cinnamon: Well, wait a minute. You don’t even know what it is yet.
Jezebel: Yeah, it could be a mouse, or a gerbil, or a baby ferret for all you know.
Nicky: I don’t like gerbils either. What’s a ferret? It sounds smelly.
Cinnamon: Speak for yourself, Nicky! You’re not exactly a bunch of roses you know.
Judy decides that there is nowhere else to put the cage except next to the rats. She clears off the table near the rat cage and puts the tank there. All of the rats go to the corner of their cage to see if they can identify the creature.
Jezebel: It doesn’t smell like a rat…
Cinnamon: Gerbil, maybe…
Nicky: No way. I’d know that stink anywhere. It’s a HAMSTER!!!
Jezebel: Nicky, don’t eat him. Wait until you get to know him.
Nicky: Grrr…
Cinnamon: Nicky if you eat him, Judy will never give you a Yogie again.
Judy: As if I didn’t have enough rats already, now I’ve got a hamster too!
Jezebel: “Enough” rats? You can never have enough rats! There’s always room for more!
Nicky: But any hamsters are too many hamsters.
Cinnamon: Only for a grumpy snot like yourself, Nicky.
Nicky goes off to sulk.
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~~~old chapters are available by request... see details at bottom of page~~~
Chapter 22: Dootie
Several more weeks have passed, and nearly all of the rat babies have been adopted. Only Sable, Deuteronomy, and of course Skitter the mouse are left. Jamie comes over to visit and brings Clover and Annabel. She talks to Judy while the ratties cause mischief.
Judy: So how badly are you spoiling those two girls?
Jamie: Do you really want to know?
Judy: Yesssss…
Jamie: I spent $300 on them in two weeks.
Judy: HA! Welcome to Ratdom.
Jamie: The cage was nearly $100 by itself… toys came to $150…
Judy: What did you BUY?
Jamie: Two polar fleece hammocks, an exercise wheel, jingle ball toys, two igloos, a bunch of PVC tubes, food and treat bowls, a ferret leash, and some bird toys.
Judy: Wow even my girls were never that spoiled!
Cinnamon: But we came close!
Jezebel: We never did get a hammock…
Jamie: Then I bought all of the ingredients for rat diet, and eight different kinds of treats.
Judy: Ok, I can’t laugh at you for that one, I’ve done that too.
Jamie: Hey, did you ever get Deuteronomy neutered? He’s old enough, isn’t he?
Judy: Yes, I brought him to the vet last week and he hasn’t forgotten it.
Deuteronomy: Darn straight! I bit her for that one.
Annabel: You bit Judy?!?!?
Deuteronomy: Well not that hard…
Jezebel: Fess up Dootie, all you did was lick her.
Annabel: HA!
Deuteronomy: She tastes weird anyway. And quit calling me Dootie.
Annabel: Dootie Dootie Dootie Dootie!!!
Deuteronomy: Grrr…
Jezebel: Hey, rats can’t growl!
Deuteronomy: I’m gifted.
Annabel: Dootie Dootie Dootie Dootie…
Jezebel: When Nicky was neutered he thought he was getting raisins.
Annabel: Really?!? What a doofus!
Jezebel: Well he was a pet store rat of course, so he didn’t know much about vets.
Annabel: Oh.
Jezebel: Actually he didn’t know much about anything.
Nicky: HEY! I heard that!
Jezebel: We had to teach him about yogies, and being named, and all sorts of things.
Nicky: But you conveniently forgot to tell me what neutering was until it was too late!
Jezebel: It was for your own good.
Nicky: Yeah, easy for you to say. You never woke up with major body parts missing.
Deuteronomy: Yeah!
Annabel: Heeheehee… We wake up every day and find more toys in our cage!
Clover: And no body parts missing! Not even tails!
Annabel: Did it hurt though, Dootie?
Deuteronomy: No, they gave me a wonderful thing called painkillers.
Nicky: I remember that…
Deuteronomy: Later that day I fell off the balcony and it didn’t hurt.
Jezebel: So he went back and jumped off again.
Deuteronomy: Isn’t it great?
Jezebel: Not really.
Chapter 23: Groceries
Judy has just returned from work and grocery shopping; the rats are familiar with shopping and know that it usually means more treats for them. Jezebel has already come up with a plan as Judy walks in the door.
Jezebel: Ok Dootie, ready?
Deuteroomy: Yup!
Deuteronomy goes to the top balcony of the cage, where all of the rat’s jingle balls have been collected. At Jezebel’s signal, Deuteronomy pushes them all off the balcony so they crash to the bottom floor.
Cinnamon: Oooh, my poor ears. Remind me please why we did that?
Jezebel: Duh, Cinna. Judy will hear the crash and come running in the groceries.
Cinnamon: Ah, of course.
Sable: What’s “groceries”?
Cinnamon: That’s when Judy brings big bags of food, and we usually get some.
Jezebel: And the cleverer we are, the more goodies we get!
Just as the rats suspected, Judy runs into the rat room to see what happened. She still has a bag in her hand and brings it with her.
Judy: Hey guys, what happened?
Jezebel: Heeheehee my plan has worked.
Judy: Dootie, did you fall off the balcony again?
Jezebel: Everyone show her your bellies!
All of the rats stand up so Judy sees their bellies. Unable to resist tickling the rats, Judy opens the cage door. All of the rats run out, Deuteronomy goes to Judy and the rest of the rats go straight for the groceries.
Judy: Hey there Dootie!
Jezebel: See, here’s how it works. The more stuff we chew on, the more stuff we get!
Jezebel chews a hole in a box of cereal, Cinnamon goes for a nice fresh pear, Nicky and Harriet work on peanut butter, and Skitter and Sable are so excited they chew on everything.
Judy: Hey, you naughty rats! Sometimes I really think you must be planning these things!
Jezebel: No kidding Judy, how do you think we learned how to get in the fridge?
Judy: Aw, you made holes in the cereal box… the apple…
Cinnamon: It’s a really good apple too!
Judy: I guess that apple will be designated rat food now.
Jezebel: Yes!!!
Judy: And the cereal, and… the peanut butter too!
Jezebel: WOW these missions are so much more successful with seven of us!
Judy herds the rats back into the cage and gives them some of the cereal. (Later that day she gives them apple pieces and makes rat cookies with the peanut butter).
Sable: Wow Jezebel, how did you think of a plan like that?
Jezebel: Hey, it wasn’t hard…
Cinnamon: Yeah, it wasn’t hard for YOU because I thought of it!
Jezebel: Er, well… yeah but I helped!
~~~ The newest addition has been posted at the top of the page! Only the three most recent chapters will be posted. If you would like to read old chapters, e-mail me and I will send you a word document of any chapters that you request. ~~~
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