*****Make Referrals List (places to start)
Be creative with this. Beyond the initial list provided by your insurance company, HMO or state agency, clergy, teachers, your co-workers, and family services organizations are likely places to start. A big advantage to this is that even in a big city you'll start hearing the same one or two doctor's names repeated. That's a very good sign

*****Check Accreditations
This step is such a pain in the butt most people don't do it, but once you track down the right phone # it's pretty quick. It's well worth it. Especially when you are dealing with a referral - don't take someone else's word on this. Call the state licensing board, the medical supervisory board, the hospital affiliations and the insurance company to find out about complaints or problems.

*****Make a list of general questions
When doing this consider both the office's philosophy and your own. Try to come up with questions that might tickle out any basic differences between your family's and the doctor's approaches.

*****Make initial calls
This should winnow down your list to a few likely doctors

*****Make Preliminary Appointments
Let the receptionist know you are interviewing doctors for your family.  Ask for an appointment to meet with the doctor. Bear in mind that the best doctors are always very busy. A long wait for a good one might be better than a shorter wait for someone else. You can always get on someone's schedule and then cancel the appt. if you find someone suitable in the interim.

*****Make a list of detailed questions
This would be much more personal than your first list and would address your most pressing concerns and the more mundane side of the process like billing, what to expect next, likely time frames, best and worst case scenarios, etc.  Take this list to your preliminary appointment.

*****Take Your Time
After your initial appointment to meet the doctor and the staff, take some time to write down what was positive and negative about the meeting.  If your gut says "NO", even if the Doctor came highly recommended, go with your instinct.

*****Don't Be Scared to Switch
If you find out after you have committed to a doctor that it is not a good fit, do NOT be afraid to seek out another doctor.  Address your concerns with the doctor or with the office supervisor and inform them about what you need.  Ask them for referrals to a better fit.

*****Examine Your Insurance
Ensure that with each scenario, you understand the policy, the payment options, the referral conditions.  As you discuss options with the Doctor, make sure they understand your insurance limitations.

*****Complain Effectively
Keep in mind that the care and service you get from your doctor should be in a team atmosphere. You and the doctor should work together to provide care for your family. Do your part by providing information, asking questions and following directions. The doctor must also do his or her part by treating you with respect, courtesy and providing you with adequate explanations for care decisions. If you are not satisfied, speak to the office manager, the hospital or the medical ethics board in your state. Do not be intimidated - you are the only advocate for your own and your family's health.