OK, it's like this...
It's the year 2135 (or pick another number if you don't like that one). Our group comprises the crew and passengers of the space ship SS Incredibable. (There's more about that name a bit later.)
The general idea is, those who can see themselves in the role of intrepid travelers of the space lanes, venturing where no man has been before (etcetera, etcetera) read the following scenario which should help give you a mental picture of what's happening... or isn't happening. It's a kind of sci-fi development of the old 'Motley Mob'.
The 'conversation' will be monitored, and any complaints that we have a too lighthearted approach to life will be deleted.... probably with no further discussion. (and with no agitation on my part) S.S. Incredibable ... read on...
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"Mr Spook, one of your most urgent duties as First Officer of the S.S Incredibable is to prepare my pre-launch speech to our crew and passengers. Have you done that yet? I forgot tell you about it before, but I need the speech tomorrow." " Well Sir, fortunately my powers of clairvoyance, as a native-born Tellathumpian, enabled me to foresee the need, and I have already made some progress with it. I am still working on it, Captain, but have a few minor problems... " "Problems? A good Star Fleet officer doesn't let problems stop him Mr Spook!.. Ummm... what kind of problems?" "Well Sir, ... I believe that a good Star Fleet Officer never tells a lie (except about his golf score, of course) and so I have trouble finding the correct words to describe the crew in terms that will not cause offence, while still adhering to truthful statements." "And what words in particular are causing the trouble, Mr Spook ?" " I have described the crew as indolent, incompetent, and illiterate, Sir, but feel they may be the wrong words to use?" "Hmmmm .... I can see your problem, Mr Spook, ... those words are obviously not correct for the occasion.... why, they all have more than two syllables!... Our crew would think I was using a foreign language!" " Actually Sir, I thought the words may have been considered to be of an insulting nature? " " Well, don't let it bother you, Mr Spook. I'll even help you.... Have you used your Star Fleet Thesaurus to find more acceptable words?" "I tried it, Sir. But it came up with 'spineless' to replace 'indolent', 'dumpkoff' for 'illiterate' and 'programmer' for 'incompetent'...." "Eh ...? Where did you get a thesaurus like that?" "Ummm... Star Fleet bought them 'on sale' from Microsoft, sir... but we think they might improve after Star Fleet registers our copies?" (to Forum or to Help) |